My dad left my two brothers and mom due to their marital problems. I was around the age of two. Since then I have seen my dad on two separate occasions. On my thirteenth birthday, and when my brother was in the hospital recovering from a very bad head injury. I am a sixteen year old lesbian, young adult and I have not spoken to him since. He has a very strong relationship with my two older brothers, but never has the courage to talk to me. Even though I hear their conversations all the time it still hurts me that I can’t tell him what has been going on in my life. My oldest brother, who is 22 years of age, moved down to where he lives in Florida in the early days of august. This really made me sad. I never thought that I could hate a man that I don’t even know. But now I think I have the courage and bravery to speak to him and try to find the answers I have been seeking for since I was a kid.
HELP YOURSELF
- We’re sorry to hear that your relationship with your father is causing you so much pain. We’re glad you feel able to reach out to us to help in this situation.
- It sounds like you’ve come to a place where you feel you want to at least discuss your feelings with your dad. Have you thought about talking to another trusted adult regarding your decision? They may be able to provide support and help you plan the best way to approach the subject with him.
- In our TOOLS tab on Teen Central, we have a section on MAKING HARD DECISIONS. This may also be beneficial in helping you decide if/ how you want to approach your father with your feelings.
CONSIDER THIS
- Confronting a situation with a loved one is a difficult and often emotional experience. Have you thought about writing a letter, or making a list of the things you’d like to say when/ if you decide to talk to him? This may help you keep your thoughts centered during the conversation so you don’t feel you left anything unsaid.
- How would you feel about role playing the situation with another member of your family that you feel would support you. This may help you prepare for various responses you may want to give/ you may receive during the conversation.
- Don’t forget to take care of yourself during all of this. Dealing with difficult situations can take a huge emotional toll. Make sure you have healthy outlets for yourself to use when you need it. Do you like to be outside and go for walks? Exercise? Paint/ Draw? Write? Find things that make you feel relaxed and use them when you need to.
