I’m the trans girl who wants to be fat, you may remember me.
Soon I will be starting my Puberty Blockers, and that makes me very happy.
But I have this feeling when I see other girls (cis or trans) and I always feel so inferior. I have trouble presenting the way I want to, because of body hair I can’t wear skirts or shorts with confidence, I have wanted thigh high socks and I would love that, that would be perfect. But I don’t have any.
So the point here is once again kind of desire to be fat, I don’t know how to say it without sounding silly, but I really like fat girls. A lot.
I have little bit of chubbyness to my tummy now and I love it honestly.
But it is sometimes ruined when hair grows on it, it’s never a lot but it’s really discouraging.
Due to my uhh… really liking fat girls, I have seen a lot of art of them. But they never have body hair. Body hair just ruins everything the cuteness and softness that are part of the reason I like fat girls so much are partly lost due to it.
I want to have big chubby thighs [somewhat explicit], but when I do so I feel icky hair, and I shave it, and it’s so hard to shave thighs. And it doesn’t last.
And my butt, I don’t have the kind of butt I want, this is all a little embarrassing and hard to talk about but uh… I wish that I had a Significantly bigger butt, but I don’t.
Gender dysphoria and “fat dysphoria” go hand in hand for me
And with puberty blockers coming soon I am hoping that less testosterone will improve things.
But I feel that I will never be as beautiful as I want to be.
The point overall is how my comparison of myself and what I find beautiful are so different from each other, and I desire so much to be beautiful.
I just need someone to tell me I’m not weird for finding fat girls so beautiful , and I can be beautiful too…
THINK ABOUT THIS
- Thank you for visiting TeenCentral again and trusting us with sensitive feelings and thoughts. You can always share your feelings with us no matter what they are – even if you feel silly about it. You might be sharing something that someone else is also feeling but is afraid to write about. By sharing with us you may also have helped another person!
- You’re on your own personal journey to discover who you are. Don’t be hard on yourself for your feelings and desires. We all have things that we would like to change about ourselves. You have come so far in being strong and being who you want to be. Be proud of how far you have come. Take into consideration that we can’t always change some of our physical characteristics.
- You sound like you are making solid decisions about how to do the best with what you have. Try to go deeper inside yourself. Embrace who you are and that you are wonderful just the way you are. Embrace that you are brave, strong, and doing the best to be YOU!! Take notice to the non physical characteristics you have. Strength, Will, Courage to name a few. You don’t need to look a certain way to be loved and respected. Talk to your therapist and keep it honest and take into consideration what they tell you.
- Are you a spiritual person? You may find help in your belief system. Maybe you’ll never have those big chubby thighs you wish for but you have your Strength, Will, and Courage and that will help to make you as beautiful as you want to be. Lastly, no, you are not weird from finding fat girls or anyone else beautiful and you are beautiful. You just need to start believing it!!!
DON’T FORGET
- Use your coping skills to get you through the days that are rough. Daily affirmations are a great way to get our thinking on track. You sound like you probably do some journaling. If so, continue that as much as possible. Sometimes just getting our thoughts out of our head helps us to self-regulate.
- Make sure your taking care of yourself. Find time to just unwind, stretch, meditate or another preferred activity. Make sure your eating well and drinking plenty of water. We need to keep our body fueled to keep our mood in balance.
- Find a trusted friend to talk to about your feelings. We all benefit from being able to express our thoughts and feeling to someone we can trust. I’m sure you have a lot to offer someone that may need the same.
