Basically, to start, I came out to my parents as gay a few months ago, and it didn’t go over well at all. It’s been a process just trying to deal with living with all the judgment and everything anyway. I’m 16 too, a couple of months away from 17. The main thing though.. I have the biggest crush on this girl that works at the Starbucks I frequent. I knew there would never be any way she would ever be into me, so it’s nothing I really think about seriously. Today though, she had remembered my order and my name and then covered my coffee for me, and then we both got flustered as I thanked her and everything. I mentioned not having to pay to my mom casually, and she went off about how I need to stop enabling girls hitting on me or something? Anyway.. I really want to write the girl a note and see if she wants to maybe hang out sometime? There’s a local fall thing with a corn maze, rides, etc. in a couple weeks and I thought about seeing if she wanted to go? I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff, so I guess I’m just seeking an opinion. Is this a wise idea? Should I just go for it and figure out the rest later? Or maybe just leave a short note with my number and leave it up to her if she wants to contact me? I’ve never asked anyone out before! Any help or advice is appreciated.. thank you!
CONSIDER THIS:
- Not being completely accepted for who you are can make you feel confused and attacked. You are kind for considering the feelings of others even though they don’t try hard enough to understand yours.
- Everyone must be who they are in order to be genuinely happy. The best thing for you to do is to be yourself. It’s your life. You’ll care about others more by living the best life you can live.
- Someone who loves you unconditionally will love you selflessly. Be yourself because this is how you’ll attract the right people for you.
- You can question whether you’d rather be in love with a guy or a girl as much as you want. But you’ll eventually end up doing what’s right for you. You might want to try to spark a friendship first. You might do best to think about how your decisions about yourself and others will affect both of your futures.
- If you are interested in this girl because you think your family would be happy, you might be a people pleaser. This behavior seems good but sometimes people take advantage of people pleasers even if they don’t mean to. Maybe you’re trying to please your parents, and possibly others, by trying to be heterosexual. When you finally learn to love yourself first, truly loving others will follow. Putting yourself first is not always a selfish act.
- If you feel the need to show others that you care you should express this in a healthy way. You can try volunteering, which would benefit yourself and others. Some ways to volunteer are helping out at an animal shelter, tutoring children or cleaning up the environment. You can contact any charitable organization you feel an interest in.
- If you’re still exploring your sexuality it might be a great idea to ask this girl out. If she says no you can always find someone who’s better for you anyway. Also, you may want to consider that you might be bisexual. You can go to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Sexuality to learn more.
- If you’re having trouble making a decision that aligns with your values you may want to try being more spiritual. Head to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more. Spiritual techniques you can try are meditation, yoga and prayer.
HELP YOURSELF:
- How do think your feelings and your future could be affected if you start asking girls out?
- In what ways would following your dreams make you happier?
- What are the pros and cons of considering guys versus girls as a potential love interest?
- Would you be wasting your time asking out girls when there’s the perfect guy out there for you?
