Homecoming is coming up and I’m a girl but I’m also gay and I feel more comfortable in more masculine clothes which I wear often. but how do I tell my mom who would normally force me to wear a dress to something like this that I want to dress the way I want too for homecoming?
HELP YOURSELF NOW
- Thank you for sharing your story with us at Teen Central. You have showed courage for standing up for yourself and your preferences. You seem to know what makes you comfortable. It can be challenging if others have different expectations of who we should be or how we should express ourselves. Continue to be courageous and stand up for who you are!
- There are resources available if you need to talk to someone. Click Here for some of those resources. Specifically, there is a Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender National Help Center there to support you. You can call 1800-246-PRIDE (7743) or go here for help.
- Do you have a support system? Who is there when you need to talk, vent, or maybe even pick out outfits that suit you? This could be a close friend, family member, neighbor, or guidance counselor. Having someone to support you can help you find the confidence to be who you want to be! They could even support you when you talk to your mom about the Homecoming and what you want to wear.
- Take time to prepare talking to your mom. Try not to make this an impulsive conversation, and definitely not one filled with intense emotion.
- Pick a time when you are both in a calm state of mind, and best frame of mind.
- Consider advise you’ve received from others and this website before your start.
- Be assertive. Be open, clear and honest, but hold back on being aggressive. Stand up for yourself and don’t be passive. Be direct about about what you would like.
- Hold your ground but try very hard not to make it a fight. Keep your voice calm.
- If you can, have a few pictures you can show your mom of some ideas that can give her an idea of what you’d like to wear.
- If things get intense try again another time.
HELP YOURSELF LATER
- Have you ever tried journaling? Writing down our thoughts and feelings can help prevent thoughts and feelings from building up inside. It can also provide a way to communicate how we feel to others. If you don’t feel like you can talk to your mom, maybe you could write down your feelings and share it with your mom. Explain why you feel more comfortable in masculine clothing and help your mom understand.
- On the TeenCentral Site under Tool there is a section on LGTBQ (Click Here) You may find some things in this resource helpful. There is a section labeled telling your parents or caregiver. Even if you have already told your mom you are gay, it may be helpful with expressing your desire to wear masculine clothing to the Homecoming. There is also a section about self-care. Taking care of yourself is important! How are you taking care of yourself? What helps you relieve stress, anxiety, and frustration?
