I am a girl. I am very happy with who I am, and I love myself. I have liked this girl since I have met her. She is the greatest person. Our personalities flow so well together and she makes me laugh constantly. I have known her for about 3 years and about 1 1/2 ago she told me she was transgender. That never changed my opinion of her. Recently she cut her hair and is now identifying as a boy. My opinion of him still hasn’t changed. My main question is if I like a transgender boy, what do I identify as? I’ve done a lot of research. People know I have messed around with guys and girls but I never really had that big out of the closet moment. I don’t feel like I need to. I just want to know for myself. He does not know that I am bisexual or have any clue that I have liked him for all this time. I don’t wanna just jump on him and ruin our friendship. How do I go about telling him? I really want to tell him I just don’t know how. Thanks for the help.
CONSIDER THIS:
- It sounds like you are putting thought into your feelings for this person, and being conscientious about how they might feel in return. It is also awesome that you are practicing self-love and acceptance!
- Remember that sexual identity and gender identity are two different things and they are unique to each person. You have your own identity. Take the time you need to explore what works for you.
- You mentioned that you have done some research and identify as bisexual. Another term you might research is pansexuality, which is an identity some people use to describe being attracted to a specific person, regardless of that person’s gender identity.
- Also, think about checking out the “Tools” page of TeenCentral, where you will find the Trans Student Educational Resources (TSER) ‘Gender Unicorn.’ You can print this tool, which will help you explore your own sexual and gender identities or check out the “Sexuality” page of TeenCentral, for more definitions.
- You can also find additional resources under the “Help” page of TeenCentral, such as the link to the TrevorProject website, for more support.
- It also sounds like you are concerned with how to share your feelings with the person you care about. Try having an open and honest conversation, at a good time for both of you. Think about finding a good time, and a quiet place where the two of you can talk. Put some thought into what you might say, or even write some things down.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are the benefits of using a tool such as the Gender Unicorn to explore your sexuality and gender identity?
- What are some things you might say to the person you care about? What are some things that you definitely want to share with them?
- If someone wanted to have a serious conversation with you, how would you want them to approach you?
- How might it feel to share your feelings openly and honestly with the person you care about?
