I am a Transgender Girl in my mid teens.
Here’s my problem, I don’t really want to like… “Grow Up” I guess. That’s really not the best way to explain it… because I don’t really mean I don’t want to like, physically age, I think it’s more of a mental thing,
Like I have no real interest in being an adult…
First off I’m a massive Genophobe, I HATE the fact that sexuality exists, and I hate how engrained it is into society, I really wish I could just ignore it, no one ever told me about it until I was like 9, I wish that It never had to enter my awareness, that’s a part about like, getting older that basically caused so much Trauma(?).
Also I feel like I never had a really had a proper childhood, being trans, and having a “dad” (Don’t really like to call him that honestly) who is a verbally abusive asshole and has been for my entire life.
I do have, like, ambitions… but I think I have more interest in actually going back than forwards.
I would come close to considering myself to be an age regressor, I feel like I regress sometimes, actually a lot. But I’m not totally positive. There is a lot of negativity surrounding age regression from outside the community, and It’s hard to find out exactly what to do regarding it, so my feelings there are pretty hard to express.
Is there any advice for what to do regarding all this, I would like that.
It’s really hard to talk about this, but I have been holding onto it for too long at this point, I need to release some of it.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:
- First, thanks for having the courage and strength to reach out to the TeenCentral community for support. We are here for you, and you aren’t alone in this.
- It sounds like you have a lot going on in both your thoughts and emotions. A great way to manage that is to start to organize your thoughts/feelings, understand where they come from, and start to process it. For example, how many of your current thoughts and feelings do you think are related to your lack of “proper childhood”? Writing these things down may be helpful in releasing many of the thoughts/feelings you’ve been holding onto.
- We really appreciate that you can acknowledge that you’ve been holding onto things for too long. That’s a powerful statement to make. Now we would love to see you turn that into action. Yes, talking is hard, but it’s also very important. We encourage you to try and find someone you trust to open up to – even if it’s just a little bit at a time.
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
- Concepts like age regression and trauma can go hand in hand. People who have had past trauma, can sometimes “regress” backwards in age towards times that made them feel safer. We’ve had some previous stories here about that topic. You should check them out and continue to educate yourself on what you’re experiencing. And if you’re ready, diving deeper into your feelings about sexuality may be helpful too.
- All of the things you are experiencing can definitely take a toll on your overall health if not managed well. When you start to feel stressed or overwhelmed, do you have any coping skills or positive things you like to do that helps you feel better? It’s a good idea to have at least 5 things that you can rely on in those moments.
- We also think it’s a good idea to stay busy and connected to others. Who are the people in your life that you enjoy being around and what are your favorite hobbies? Maybe it’s time to make some new connections or try to expand your hobbies? Finding positivity in something new may help you feel less disinterested in moving forward.
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