I hate myself, and I know everyone feels the same, I have both eczema and allergies making my skin red and irritated, so I put on cream to smooth the pain but that makes me look even more ugly . I can’t count how many times I’ve been rejected at both friendships and relationships. I feel so pathetic for feeling this way and I feel like I’m being so selfish right now and I fucking hate it. I have loving parents who give me everything and cute pets and “friends” at school and at home but somehow…somehow I still feel alone. Like I’m in a simulation and I’m the main character, the only main character. I don’t want to be the only main character though….I don’t want to die alone……
I’ve been trying everything from online therapy, to a hospital and meds yet I’m still not happy. What’s wrong with me? Why am I like this? If I was prettier would I be happier? I don’t know anymore… I just wanna be my old self again, happy, creative, loving, and kind, Now I’m just…I’ve turned into the kind of person I hate most….
I hate talking to people now and have severe trust issues making it hard for me to get real help so please, I beg of you, give me an answer…..
I have been blinded by my sadness. Please, help me see…..
HELP YOURSELF:
- First, I would like to thank you for having the courage to share your story with the TeenCentral community. Be proud of yourself for reaching out for help.
- You stated that you have a good relationship with your parents. Have you considered talking with them about how you are feeling? This would be a great place to start. Sometimes we don’t feel like they will understand, and then they surprise us.
- Continue to do your therapy sessions- they can really help. Medications sometimes take a while to work and to find the best dose for each person. Don’t give up!
Consider This:
- This is a very confusing time in your life. Perhaps you could try joining new clubs/sports at school or in your community. There are plenty of teenage groups and support groups of all kinds. Try visiting your local library or speaking to a counselor at your school for more information.
- If joining a new club, team, of support group is not for you then perhaps you could try journaling. Journaling is a great way to sort your thoughts and feelings and tends to help you better understand them.
- On the TeenCentral website there is a Tools section. Try clicking on that and you will find Daily Positive Reminder and a Weekly Mood Tracker. These could help you when doing your therapy sessions. Self-Positive Talk is another good tool you can use.
- There are also many hotlines available to you on the TeenCentral HELP tab. Read over them because one of them may apply to your situation perfectly – and they respond immediately to you. Know that you are not alone.
