So I have trust issues stemming from childhood, and I’m in a new relationship. However, he has been nothing but good to me, and tells me consistently that it doesn’t bother him to reassure me so much. I’m very happy when I’m with him, and I have found that there’s nothing about him I don’t like, but I’m really struggling with the fact that I thought my relationship with him would make me happy all the time. I’m finding that I feel like I’m going to scare him away if I keep asking him for reassurance. I know he truly feels this way, but I can’t put my mind at ease that he won’t leave if it gets to be too much for him.
HELP YOURSELF
- Thank you for bringing your questions to TeenCentral and trusting us with your story. It’s sometimes very difficult to share sensitive and personal information with others, so good for you!
- When you feel you’ve been betrayed at such a young age it can be very difficult to trust even the most honest and caring people. There are some really good resources about relationships on this website that can help you sort those concerns. On the LEARN tab look for “Relationships“. Under the TOOLS tab click on “8 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship” and also “Self-Positive Talk“. The Unhealthy Relationship tool can help convince you that there are no reasons for you to be concerned in your current relationship! Or it could confirm some gut feelings you are having which are causing you to doubt.
- A trusted therapist may be able to help you learn how to trust others in a healthy way. Talking to a therapist in person could really be helpful. You might even have more fulfilling relationships without being too afraid of what might happen if you trust.
CONSIDER THIS
- Do you keep a journal? If so, here is a writing prompt to consider. In what ways can working through your trust issues now improve your quality of life?
- It’s not always a bad thing to question a person’s trustworthiness. Sometimes it’s wise to wonder if you can trust people. It’s okay to take a moment and consider what your gut is telling you about a person, but don’t let your anxiety get the best of you.
- Keep a positive mindset. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment. You can use spirituality to calm anxiety, feel safer and live a more meaningful life. Spiritual techniques you may want to try are prayer and meditation.
