Hi teencentral… I’m pretty tired as you are probably going to tell from these long lists. I mean emotionally tired. Of everything… I’ve been in and out of mental hospitals this year, been to 4 different therapists that barely helped me or I was taken away from, I’ve been on 5 psych meds, I have severe major depressive disorder, anxiety, ptsd, and adhd. I’ve suffered through severe self harm, suicide attempts, panic attacks, physical and emotional abuse, auditory hallucinations, bullying, my best friend died by suicide a couple months ago. I’m doing a lot better than I was but to be honest I’m not better. Yes I’m not currently self harming but I want to, I’m not currently hospitalized like I was or anything, not currently with people anyways that’s kind of nice. I want to get checked for BPD so bad but my mom says nooooo I don’t have it because “all you need is god and that’s it. You want to be sick. Just pray”. My therapist said I need a trauma therapist because I’ve never really addressed my trauma with a therapist because I’ve never stayed at one long enough. ( I always get hospitalized half way through). And by the way, my therapist isn’t trained in anything I am going through- even trauma. She’s like a child therapist but she’s all we could get cause money’s tight. Nowhere accepts our insurance and we’re tired of searching for help. It’s a pretty heavy thing for a 15 year old, don’t you think? I don’t know. I found this really nice therapy place and I like the lady there and they have openings so I got excited, but then my mom called and they don’t accept any insurance so that’s out the window I guess. I’m not accepted for my mental illnesses or my sexuality, and I’ve been saying to my mom that all I want is to get better. I’ve talked about going to a residential treatment program, but all they have in my area that I can find are addiction treatments. Whenever I’m home, it just will get worse or stay the same. I need something more than this dumb therapist, and my mom won’t let me get anymore help. I don’t want to be offensive, but I’ve used this website before and it’s not very helpful but this is my last straw. I need the help I legally deserve!!!! I just want to get away and get the help I need……..
Help Yourself
- We’re sorry to hear about all of the difficulties you’re going through. It must seem very frustrating to want help and feel like you’re not getting it.
- It sounds like you’re telling your parents and even your therapist that you need more help. Have you tried asking your therapist to provide recommendations for others in her field that may be able to help you? She should be aware of the type of insurance you’re using and may be able to provide some insight into other places to go. You may also be able to do this yourself by calling the insurance company . The number can be found on the back of your insurance card. The representative should be able to give you some options near you, and may even be able to find a close trauma therapist . They can also give you copay information if its available to them.
- Have you thought about researching to find a walk-in mental health clinic in your area? These places are open to people coming in without appointments and may be able to help you find what you need. If you and your family bring up your insurance they may be able to help you find providers that take the insurance you have.
- You may want to consider contacting the Crisis Textline and talking with them about what you’re going through and see if they have any suggestions as well.
Crisis Textline
Available 24/7
Support to all individuals in crisis
Text “HELLO” to 741741
www.crisistextline.org
Consider This
- This may seem redundant if it’s been suggested before, but have you considered keeping a daily journal? If you’re struggling with feeling like people aren’t listening to you, it’s the one place you can express everything you’re feeling without feeling judged or avoided. It’s highly recommended as a coping skill/ outlet.
- Have you tried getting involved in activities, either ones you’ve enjoyed before or new ones, that will get you out of the house and meeting new people? Sometimes a new setting and trying new things can jump start you moving forward again.
- You mentioned that you’re doing better, just not as well as you want to be. Have you taken the time to look at those areas that you feel you’re doing better and really looking at why/ how that has happened? Where have you been successful so far? What did you do that worked for you? Are there any things you’ve learned that you could re-apply that might help you now? We’re always more comfortable focusing on our negatives, but have you taken the time to recognize the things you’ve accomplished as well?
- Anything you try, whether these suggestions or others, are meant to help you cope, not replace your search for help. The fact that you’re looking to continue to move forward is a tribute to the person you are. Teen Central is simply meant to offer ideas and resources, but we will say that we are proud of the strength you have to continue reaching out. May you find the healing you deserve.
