Hey, Teencentral! I’m the one who asked about how to increase physical allure/charm a few days ago. I’m really happy to get your replies! First off, I gotta say I’m an adult now. (But I used to visit your website a lot when I was a teenager and asked questions here too. You guys answered me, so I still feel familiar and close to this place. When I get confused sometimes, I still come here to look for advice. Hope you don’t mind.) I’m a late bloomer even as an adult, so I didn’t figure out my sexual orientation as early as some LGBT teens did. Even though people around me always said I was good-looking when I was a kid, I wasn’t in good health and didn’t exercise much. So I never got into the habit of going to the gym. My body’s not sexy at all. I’m really skinny. But when I was a teenager, I lived in a really conservative environment and didn’t know my sexual orientation clearly. So I never cared about this stuff and never thought about making myself sexier or more eye-catching. Nope, not at all. I didn’t have any relationship or sexual experiences either. But in the past few years, I’ve gradually realized my sexual orientation. Maybe I’m bisexual. I’m not into chasing after stars, but sometimes I do envy and admire some LGBT stars and actors. I envy their charm that attracts both guys and girls and the sexiness they show in every move. I really wish I could be more attractive. And I’m kind of confused. ‘Cause as a bisexual, I don’t know what my appearance and body should be like to attract both men and women. Do I have to make myself chubby and curvy to attract straight guys? What should I do if I want women to like me? Should I go to the gym and build up muscles to be like a tomboy? So, I don’t know. I’m really confused. I don’t know if I should make my appearance and body more feminine, more neutral, or something else through working out, cosmetic treatments, or even plastic surgery to be more sexually charming?
Welcome Back, and thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and experiences with our TeenCentral community! We are grateful to have made a positive impact on your life along the way.
THINGS TO CONSIDER RIGHT NOW:
- Coming to terms with and embracing your sexual identity and orientation is a DEEPLY personal journey which requires a lot of introspection. Our best suggestion is to really build a supportive network of friends and family around you in order to help you through your journey. Surround yourself with love and kindness and non-judgement regardless of orientation for positive results. We do offer some information on sexuality on our LEARN tab that may help you reflect.
- More importantly, it sounds like some of what you are verbalizing a conflict with is your physical appearance. The way you reflect on it here seems less anchored in your own personal sexuality and more so in your self-image and body concept. It sounds like you desire to FEEL physically attractive in a general sense to anyone. As cliche as it may sound, we encourage you to understand that the allure you speak of is not something you put on in the morning in the physical sense. It is not something that is truly earned with makeup, clothing, nor trips to the gym as that is external and can be feigned. True desire comes from the qualities that a person exudes. Nor can you please everyone. Some people find that a person who lives a mentally healthy lifestyle alluring, confidence, trustworthiness, a good sense of humor all can be attractive. In order to find your best partner in life we recommend that you truly learn to love yourself and then you will FEEL more attractive. We also caution you to learn more about positive vs. negative body concept on our LEARN tab.
THINGS TO CONSIDER AFTERWARDS:
- We offer some great tips for mental wellness to accompany you on your journey of introspection here on our WHATS NEW tab. Other ideas that work in tandem with this are guided journalling questions or we offer a TOOL on positive self-talk.
- Find out what brings you peace while you are on this long and winding journey as you grow. Is it being with pets, joining an athletic team, taking walks in nature, doing good deeds for others, building something, or being creative. Again, this is your story and we hope you continue to find the ongoing courage to be a main character! Be well and live well!
