I have a huge problem. I really hope you can help me. I truly believe that I am still in love with my ex-boyfriend. I am so sick of people telling me to get over him and to move on. They say that I am stupid because I still love him, but I can’t help how much I love him. My ex-boyfriend and I have been friends since high school. We had the same group of friends from high school and it seemed as if they were trying to break us up. One girl out of the group would always try to tell him lies about me. Then, she came to me and told lies about him. I knew the fiction from fact and she would get mad whenever I came around our group of friends. She would always try to start a fight with me, but it never worked. Then she turned my whole group of friends on me. My ex-boyfriend dumped me, because he believed that I didn’t love him. I already know who he got that idea from. He would always listen to them and never me. How do I get my ex-boyfriend to realize that the people we thought were our friends are just miserable and are jealous of the love we had? They were not real friends. How do I get my boyfriend back and get rid of his fake friends?
CONSIDER THIS:
- It is completely understandable that you are upset, because you feel like your friends turned on you and you lost your boyfriend because of it. Remember that you are not responsible for the actions of others, nor do their actions define you as a person. It is good that you did not fall into that girls trap and fight her.
- It might be a good idea to do some journaling and write down all of your feelings and the reasons you are feeling them, in addition you could write down what you would say to your ex-boyfriend and his friends if you did talk to them. Sometimes it is a good idea to do that a couple of times before you actually speak to them in person. That way you could work out a way to talk to them without causing more hurt feelings on either side.
- You should consider talking to your ex-boyfriend without his friends around and telling him how you feel.
- You may want to consider talking to this group of friends and letting them know how you feel. Maybe there was more going on. Maybe there were some miscommunication or misunderstandings that led to them acting the way they did.
- Another option may be talking to a friend or trusted adult to get things off your chest and help you work through your feelings.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What have you done so far to change the situation you are in?
- What was the outcome of what you did?
- What positive steps could you make to improve your situation with and/or without your ex-boyfriend in the picture?
- What are the pros and cons of getting back with your ex-boyfriend?
- What are your plans for the future (school, career, etc.) and how does your ex-boyfriend fit into those plans?
