Honestly it’s so hard to even wake up in the mornings anymore because of my ptsd. It sucks because I want to understand it but i just can’t. I have gotten diagnosed with complex ptsd and hypervigilance and it’s helped a bit more to understand it but I wish it could just go away. I can’t tell what and what isn’t a trigger anymore due to how much I dissociate in general. I’m so glad I have my boyfriend to help me out but I feel bad for venting to him now because he already has a lot on his mind. I wish I could meet someone who understands but I would never wish this even on my worst enemy. It’s horrible getting random flashbacks throughout the day, bad or good ones. I wish I was normal like the other kids in my school.
HELP YOURSELF NOW:
- Thank you for sharing your story with us at TeenCentral. With so much going on in your life right now, it makes sense to feel overwhelmed at times. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. We hope you can feel proud for speaking up for yourself! Good job!
- If you ever need to talk to someone, there are several ways to find someone that can listen and help – day or night. You can find many of these options HERE. If at any point you begin to feel unsafe – either that you may hurt yourself or just generally feel out of control, please find help – call 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741 or visit www.crisistextline.org.
- It is great that you have a supportive boyfriend to talk to! Who else is there in your life that you can you talk to? This may be a guidance counselor, friend, or family member. It is often beneficial to have more than one person to talk to so that if your go-to person is unavailable, you have a backup. It is incredibly important to have people in your life to be able to support you or simply just listen.
KEEP HELPING YOURSELF:
- How we feel or how our brains/bodies react to events in our lives can be confusing, puzzling, or even frustrating. You mentioned wishing you understood your struggle with triggers. Have you tried journaling? Maybe writing down your feelings, your activities that day, and what kind of flashbacks or PTSD symptoms you are experiencing can help you tie it all together. When you’re able to identify situations that seem to trigger difficult feelings or thoughts, you can make a plan for how to deal with them when they happen in a way that keeps you safe. If nothing else, it will help you get your thoughts and feelings out which is super important for your mental wellbeing. Holding things in can often cause us to feel much worse.
- Overall, you seem to be experiencing a tremendous amount of ongoing anxiety. Consider dedicating a certain amount of time, even just 10 minutes a day, to doing something that is calming to help your brain and body relax. Make a list of things that you enjoy or that help you feel relaxed and peaceful. Put that list somewhere that is easy to find and use it when it’s your time to relax. Consider this an appointment with yourself, for yourself. 10 minutes a day can have a positive impact, and if you’re able to do it more than once a day – all the better. If you need some ideas, check out the WELLNESS section in LEARN, the YOGA and MEDITATION tools in TOOLS or how to use ART AS A COPING SKILL in WHAT’S NEW.
- Sometimes focusing on being positive can make a huge difference on how we see our world. There are many resources under the TOOLS tab of TeenCentral such as Daily Positivity Reminder and Self Positive Talk. These can give you a head start to seeing things with a positive light. How can you get some positivity into your life? Can you keep a journal page for something positive that happened each day? Can you take time to read something uplifting or positive every morning? What positive words or quotes speak to you? Write them down and look at them as you start your day or during a difficult time.
