I’m a 16 year old gay boy. I live in a small redneck town in South Wisconsin, so online dating is my only way of dating. I never ever had a single boy in person, like me or think I’m cute. I’ve met many guys through my phone. I met this one boy named “J”, I really loved him. I dreamed of a life with him. But, he says he isn’t sure about his feelings towards me anymore. He never answers my messages, even though he’s commonly active. I truly want to slice my wrists. I want to see if maybe my name will get on the news. I just want to see if he fucking cares. I don’t want another guy, it seems like gay guys only ever want sex. He was different. He showed his feelings to me. I know, that I will never find another man like him. So, I don’t want to be alive anymore because I can’t have him.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for writing to us at TeenCentral to share your story. It takes tremendous courage to be vulnerable and put your heartbreak out there for the world to see. It’s also an important first step in working through the problem and seeing that you are not alone! Unfortunately, so many other teens have been in similar situations – rejected by a crush, and feel so emotional that they feel life cannot go on. But, it can! We have many stories on the TeenCentral site of teens who have been right where you are and have gotten through it.
- Reaching out for feedback is a huge first step but not the only step. In addition to reading some of the other TeenCentral stories, we also have LGBTQ and Relationship information under the LEARN tab. Most importantly – your safety is the #1 priority to the TeenCentral community. If you ever feel unsafe and need immediate help, under the HELP tab we have multiple hotlines that you can text or call for assistance 24/7. Save these numbers so you have access to them anywhere you go.
- Is there a trusted parent, adult, or other positive friend that you can talk to? Oftentimes going through heartbreak or relationship problems can make a person feel alone. In these times it’s important to surround yourself with the people who do care about you and use these support systems to help you get through these tough times.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Have you tried journaling or writing as an outlet for the strong feelings you are experiencing? Even though you mentioned that this boy hasn’t responded to your messages, getting your feelings and thoughts out can be therapeutic itself. We also encourage you to reflect on the positive qualities that you look for in a potential relationship like trust, loyalty or whatever it is that you value – Is it possible that other people have those qualities that you are looking for? Also, you said you dreamed of a future life – what other things were a part of that life? Focus on those positive goals that you can still achieve.
- It seems like you are in a lot of pain over this situation. During these times, it’s important to hold onto the things that do give you happiness in life such doing certain activities or being around others who care about you. What are some things you have done in the past that made you happy? Who are the people in your life that care about you that you can surround yourself with?
- One of the many difficult things about heartbreak is that it can feel like it consumes your life but it doesn’t have to. Now is a great time to focus back on yourself and work on being an even better version of you! Exercising and paying attention to your overall wellness is a great way to feel better and help take your mind away from the difficult moments. We have various resources available under the TOOLS tab on subjects like running, strength training, yoga, and nutrition. Even just being out in nature and staying busy can be very beneficial.
