Hello, I have this problem that has affected me almost all my life. I’m a boy…but I was born a girl. That’s my problem, I was born wrong. I just turned 15 in September. I came out two months before to my parents and my boyfriend. My mom and boyfriend are supportive, sadly, my dad is not. He doesn’t understand. He still thinks I’m “his little girl”, but he couldn’t be more wrong. I want my dad to understand it and at least respect that this is who I am. I wish he would say I’m his son when he introduces me to people. I really don’t know what to do. Please, if you can, help me!!!
CONSIDER THIS:
- Not being accepted for who you are can make you feel anxious and hurt by those you love. You are strong for continuing to be yourself even though you face adversity.
- Even though not everyone will agree with your choices in life, a good parent will make an honest effort to unconditionally love their child. It’s not your fault if your dad doesn’t understand this.
- You can try to understand why your dad feels the way he does and speak to him about the problem in a way you both feel comfortable. It might help to write down ideas on how you want to talk to him.
- If you be completely honest about how you feel and why it bothers you so much your father might be more likely to listen. You can try to make him see reason by listening to him speak, by analyzing his feelings, then respond. You may also tell him how much you care about him being in your life and why your relationship means so much to you. Be peaceful and try not to argue because this might make the problem worse.
- If your father doesn’t accept you at first he might learn to with time. If this bothers you a lot you might want to consider being more spiritual. Head to Teen Central and click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more. Ways to be spiritual include prayer, meditation, yoga or attending church services.
- No matter what, continue to be strong and be yourself. Creativity can be therapeutic and help you express yourself. Creative activities you might enjoy are playing a musical instrument, painting, drawing or coloring in a coloring book. You can also write in a daily journal to let your feelings out.
- If your dad doesn’t accept you, you aren’t to blame. You deserve unconditional love. You can take comfort in knowing that you do have other people in your life who still love you as yourself.
- If you need someone to talk to you can go to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab to call one of the hotlines. See a trusted therapist if needed.
HELP YOURSELF:
- In what ways can you commit to staying positive if your dad doesn’t accept you?
- Would your mom help you convince your dad to see the light? How can you approach her on the issue so she’ll help you with him?
- In what ways can you continue to be yourself and not let people change you?
