I just started college this fall. I’m currently at home, but I’ll be back on campus in a few days to begin the spring semester. I wish I didn’t have to go back for reasons that will soon be obvious.
During my first week on campus, I met “Amy.” We quickly became good friends. From the beginning, I knew that “Amy” was gay, but it didn’t bother me. I’m pretty open-minded, despite my upbringing. I knew she was attracted to me, which I guess I found flattering. Anytime we were alone, especially when we were in her dorm room, she would start working on me, trying to get me to experiment with her. Finally, one night, when I’d had a bit to drink and we were again alone in her room, I gave in and had sex with her.
I admit I enjoyed it, but as far as I was concerned, it was just an experiment. But she began acting like we were a couple. I tried telling her that it was just a one-time thing and that we couldn’t be together. She got really mad and that’s when she pulled up the video on her laptop. Turns out she’d had a camera set up in her room to film us having sex. She’s threatened to leak the video to my parents if I don’t do exactly what she tells me.
Now, my parents are super-religious and insanely conservative. At minimum, they’d refuse to pay my tuition and I’d have to leave college if they found out I’ve experimented with homosexuality. The worst case scenario is they’d both disown me. And the worst case scenario is a real possibility.
For the rest of the semester, I had to meet up with “Amy” for sex anytime she asked. Thinking about those encounters as I type this makes my skin crawl. I always feel so dirty and used afterward. To her, I’m a human sex toy. I can tell that she gets off on the fact that I’m forced to do this and don’t want to.
I have to get out of this situation, but I don’t know how. If I don’t comply, she’ll release the video. I’ve thought about reporting her, but I’m not sure that what she’s doing is even illegal in this state. Plus, it’s only my word that this video even exists. I doubt the police could get a warrant just on my say-so. And even if they did do something, I’m sure she has a back-up copy of that video somewhere. If the cops don’t manage to seize it along with her laptop, it’ll get leaked eventually.
I feel stuck in a situation of mutually assured destruction. I can’t have my parents finding out about us having sex. Is there anything I can do?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Worrying about ruining your relationship with your parents can make you feel stressed out and anxious. You are strong for reaching out for help in what must seem like a desperate situation.
- The only way to be truly happy is to love yourself first. “Amy” is crossing the line by making you have sex with her. You’ll respect yourself more by doing what you feel is right.
- You can cut off all communication with “Amy”. You might even want to get legal advice about what to do about the videotape from a trusted professional.
- It might help you feel better about the situation by learning more about the LGBTQ community. You can head to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Sexuality then LGBTQ to try to understand their struggles a bit better. Remember that “Amy” has no right to mistreat you in any way but by understanding her feelings it might be easier to see that she’s human and move on from the situation with peace of mind.
- You can try using creativity to express yourself in a positive way. Some ways to be more creative are writing in a daily journal, painting, drawing, coloring in a coloring book or learning to play a musical instrument. Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.
HELP YOURSELF:
- How can you commit to stopping yourself from getting involved in negative situations in the future?
- In what ways can hanging out with the right people make you happier in the long run?
- How could focusing on doing the right thing for yourself and others help make everyone’s futures brighter?
