I’m in 8th grade. I have a crush on someone, but I ignore her as much as I can, in hope that it’ll go away. But it doesn’t. It hasn’t gone away for two years. I’m starting to get desperate. I’ve tried to tell myself that I’m overreacting, but it doesn’t work. My cousins all insult me. I know they’re just joking, but…for some reason I can’t tell whether they’re joking or not anymore. In fact, half the time I think they’re being serious. I tell them that they hurt my feelings, but they’re just like “bruh you can’t take a joke? It was just a joke stop being such a crybaby.” I have a lot of nice things at home, so I shouldn’t feel suicidal, right? Well unfortunately, that isn’t right. My thoughts about my family’s insults and my “crush”, if you even wanna call it that, that go on in my brain while I’m trying to sleep scare me so much that I try my best to get as tired as possible and sleep as late as possible. I haven’t told anyone this, and I don’t want to tell anyone, because I’m just throwing my problems on someone’s shoulders for them to deal with. I’m wasting their time. It’s starting to get to the point where I’m searching up the most painless method. I’m telling myself to stop and go move on, but it doesn’t work. I’m scared and super stressed, and I don’t think this’ll get better anytime soon.
Part 2…
Hey, I’m the person in 8th grade who has a “crush” and gets insults from my cousins who just say “it was just a joke.” I guess this is part two because I forgot to mention a few things going on in my head. I’m Muslim, and in our religion it states that the world will end. If the world is gonna end, why would my impact matter? How do I know that I will make an impact? If there’s 7.8 billion people in the world, there’s absolutely no way I’d make a difference. Everyone says life is hard, so what’s the point of living to through the hardship if I could just end it now and avoid all that? Falling in love is absolute hell, and I’m just done with dealing it now. I’m done.
FIRST THINGS FIRST:
- Your safety is paramount, if you are feeling unsafe or suicidal: You can call The National Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255
- Youth : Lifeline (suicidepreventionlifeline.org
- The Lifeline and 988 : Lifeline (suicidepreventionlifeline.org)
- Thank you for sharing your story with our community, sometimes just getting it out can feel like such an release of burden and it is very courageous of you to speak up and seek help.
- Try talking to a trusted adult in your life such as a guidance counselor, school nurse, doctor/pediatrician, parent, or family member. Having a supportive adult in your corner who can link you to the appropriate professional help is a great idea. Not only will you feel heard, it may help you manage the conflict with your cousins poking fun at you.
WHEN YOU ARE UP FOR IT:
- You are not alone, there are some great, reputable websites out there that can help you see that many people struggle with feelings of depression. Please check out the TED Talks website under the category/topic of suicide: TED Talks . You can also learn more about depression on our website under the LEARN tab. You can also check out SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and also Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness.
- Find some positive outlets for your feelings and also build up your coping strategies. You have to find what works for you, and you can consult our WHATS NEW or TOOLS tab for ideas. Some ideas are journaling, yoga, mindfulness, being around animals, walking outside, exercise, art, singing, volunteering, or joining a group or activity in or outside of your school.
- Find something each day that makes you happy. Keep a gratuity journal of things you can be grateful for, no matter how silly or trivial they may seem at the time. Surround yourself with positive people who bring you joy to increase your positive potential for great experiences.
