I’m a 13 year old guy. I spent the night at a friend’s house (he’s 14) over the weekend and after everyone was asleep, he forced me to have sex with him. I’m scared to tell anyone about this. I’m scared that no one will believe me. Plus, it’s just humiliating. He’s also apologized, saying that he’s never done anything like that before and doesn’t know why he did it and to please not tell anyone. So now I don’t know what to do.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for sharing your painful story with the community of Teen Central. We appreciate that you feel safe to share something so hard to talk about, and hope you find the support you’re looking for here.
- This is your story. You deserve to be heard and believed. What you’re describing is sexual assault. It’s absolutely not ok, and you do not have to stay silent about it. There is help out there for you anytime day or night. You can call 1-800-656-4673 to talk with someone about being a victim or talk online at www.rainn.org , as well as text HELLO to 741741 to find support.
- It’s really important that you don’t go through this alone. Please consider talking to someone in your life that you can trust. They can help support by listening, talking through what you want to do, or even going with you to report what happened. We hear that you are scared that you won’t be believed, but it’s worth saying your truth anyway. People that care about you want you to be safe and want to know if you’ve been hurt. Let them help you.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:
- You don’t have to worry about this boy’s feelings, or getting him in trouble. But it sounds like you are confused because he apologized for what he did. Some mistakes can be forgiven with an apology because they don’t cause a lot of harm, and the person realizes they did and why, so much so that they won’t do it again. Some mistakes are more serious, like this one, because harm was done – an apology is not enough when anyone’s safety and wellbeing is at risk. It sounds like this boy apologized because he knows he did something wrong, but also doesn’t know why. Speaking up not only protects you, but may also lead to him getting some help he desperately needs.
- It’s important to know boundaries when it comes to friendships and relationships, and this can be hard to figure out when you’re a teen and just starting to learn about these things. Check out the TOOLS section for “8 Signs of a Healthy Relationship” to learn a bit about how to know if a friendship or romantic relationship is healthy going forward. This may help give you a heads up in the future if someone is giving you any warning signs that they aren’t the right person for you or may put you in uncomfortable situations.
- Please remember to take care of yourself during this stressful time. Make time for things that bring you calm and help you feel happy. There are lots of resources in our WELLNESS section (in LEARN) that may be helpful to you when you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. Also in “WHAT’S NEW” there are resources about using Journaling or Art to Cope with Stress. Please make time to take care of yourself.
