My moms friend told me when she gave birth to my older sister that she was having an affair on her dad. i was mad and constantly got in arguments with her and then 1 year later i forgot about it and we built a really strong relationship. she now wants to get a divorce with my dad. Now all of sudden she’s happy and i just found out that she having an affair with her co worker which is my aunts crush her sister and I’m so mad who in the hell would do that to your sister who had a baby and the baby daddy left them both to have another family. I just saw her texting him his name is [name removed] and he’s constantly telling her to leave the marriage. I’m adopted she’s biologically my aunt but i call her mom and her husband is my uncle and i don’t call him my dad he’s never been their for the family and i hurts me cause i just want a dad after my dad dying. I don’t know what to do???
HELP YOURSELF
- We can tell that you’re hurting and really looking for support, we’re glad you came to Teen Central for help. Asking for advice is often a difficult first step, and you’ve already taken it!
- If you ever feel that you are unsafe, or that you may consider hurting yourself reach out for help by calling 911 or reaching out to local authorities. You are never alone, remember you can always contact someone on the Crisis Textline by sending “Hello” to 741741.
- I can tell there are a lot of thoughts that you are trying to work through. Mindfulness approaches can be very effective in managing stress levels, as can physical activity and exercise. If you take a look at the HELP tabs there are a few resources like a poster outlining a sun salutations sequence, and an outline for a beginners running schedule; reading through these may help guide you into a healthy new practice that will also help you to clear your mind.
CONSIDER THIS
- It seems that you are in the middle of this turmoil, which must be emotionally exhausting. When this happens our own self-care goes by the wayside. If possible, try to distance yourself from the issues directly between your adult family members and focus in on yourself and your own needs. Once you try some of the mindfulness or physical activity approaches listed above, try reflecting in a journal about how you are feeling about things both before and after you do some self-care. There is a great blog post in What’s New that outlines ways to use journaling effectively. It’s ok if you don’t exactly know what to write at first, the more you do it the more will flow out naturally.
- Finding a strong and stable support system outside of the immediate family environment can be incredibly freeing, and validating. If you made a list of all of the most reliable and comfortable relationships in your life, what type of advice do you think those people would give you? Is it possible for you to reach out to those people and ask some of these questions in person?
- If you are unable to identify one or two adults for support, it’s also possible to seek out professional advice via online platforms and tele-therapy. Have you considered seeking out support in this way? What are the possible positive and negative effects of finding a counselor or therapist? Short-term counseling may be able to help you sort out your strong emotions, while giving you a safe and neutral space to air your frustrations and confusion. Check out this website and find your state’s psychological association, which will be able to help you connect with more even more valuable resources: https://www.apa.org/about/apa/organizations/associations
