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There is a difference between rights and privileges.

Rights are inherent and are not conditional.

Privileges are given to someone but are not “inherent”, meaning they are not automatically the right of all people. Privileges can be dependent on certain conditions being met.

For example, a reasonable condition for earning a privilege may be following house rules such as completing chores.

Privileges are often activities we enjoy or we want that are not directly related to our biological/psychological needs. For example, having our cellphones, having access to the family car, staying out late, and going out with friends – are all privileges.

Another example – If a child misses curfew, a parent still must provide adequate long term access to food, hydration, shelter, and clothing. However, a parent can also tell their child that they are not to use the family car until they can demonstrate responsibility. Similarly, a parent has the ability to remove access to the privilege of cell phone, video game usage, or social media use.

You may be surprised to know that when acting protectively in the interest of their child, a parent is able to search a child’s room. This is not considered invading your rights.

PRIVACY – Your guardians should give you more privacy as you grow older. This is especially true in terms of privacy for your body. But you do not have an inherent “right” to the privacy of your belongings. Your guardians are legally responsible for the items and activities that happen on their property and in their vehicles. And yes, even if “you” have been designated a car that they own – it is essentially their car. They have the responsibility to know what is happening in those spaces if they suspect a safety concern. That is why you do not have a “right” to privacy of your belongings when you are underage living in their space.

If you have been injured or assaulted, please have the courage to speak up and connect with a supportive adult in your life. YOU ARE IMPORTANT! It is not your fault. When coping with abusive situations, feelings of anxiety, depression, and fear may show up.