Hi. I’m a 16 y/o girl and I’m generally a good kid. As a result, I’ve never been grounded before in my life. I’ve had to deal w/ other forms of punishment, but never being grounded. Most of my friends have been grounded before. I actually wonder what it’s like. Like, to the degree that I find myself wondering what I could do to get myself grounded so I can find out. Am I out of my mind for doing this? I know most people wouldn’t want to be grounded, but I do.
HELP YOURSELF
- Thank you for reaching out to us at Teen Central with your question. Believe it or not it’s perfectly normal for a young person to explore boundaries and limits. The idea of wanting to know what the limits are on your life and testing those limits to make sure there is a firm and safe boundary set for you is a way for you to FEEL SAFE in your life. This is completely normal in your development to feel this way.
- You could test the limits of your family’s boundaries by acting out in order to “get grounded” as you say – OR you could have a conversation with your parents/guardians about this. You could ask them what it would take for them to “ground” you – what behaviors would cause them to “ground” you. This way you would know what those limits are. You could even pick a practice weekend where you test out what grounding would be like. Follow all the rules of “grounding” in your family for a weekend to see what that punishment is like so you know how the limit feels. This way you know the cost of those behaviors.
- Remember this – everyone – EVERYONE – has boundaries in their lives. Boundaries are healthy. You learn to have healthy boundaries as a kid so that when you grow up you can draw your own healthy boundaries in your own life – around work, health, finance, wellness, family life – everything. Having healthy, strong, loving boundaries in your home that are not hurting you is a great way to grow up. Understanding limits on your life will give you a lasting positive lesson. It’s not about control – it’s about guidance.
CONSIDER THIS
- Have you tried talking to your friends about what it’s like to be grounded? They may be able share their experiences with you which could also be enlightening.
- Do you have a journal? We would suggest starting to write down some thoughts and feelings you have about your exploration of boundaries and limits. As you explore this topic in your life continue to review what you have written and see the progress you are making. This can be a helpful exercise. TeenCentral has a resource you may want to see – What’s New Blog – Journaling as a Coping Skill for Stress You may find this a to be something that’s helpful to you ongoing in your life. Many of our other writers have agreed!
