I was in college in my twenties and during the summer I said goodbye to my girlfriend and worked as a camp counselor almost 4 hours away. It was exciting cause I was pretty much a stranger in a strange land for 3 months where I could be sure no rumors would reach my friends and family at home. Honestly I never intended to meet someone that summer and cheat on my girlfriend with the most life changing relationship I ever had. A girl with short blonde hair caught my eyes immediately and I quickly gleaned her name and status from another conselor but the boys in my cabin were routy and kept me busy all day long. I asked a boy one day to stay behind with me as the other go earn badges for various activities. We could tidy up the cabin and I could finally catch up with the blonde. We ended up talking about my plans and laughed at it’s stupidity. Her cabin was on store day and wouldn’t be around all day. I was surprised at how clever this boy was and how well we connected. I was more surprised when he leaned in and kissed me. I stopped him and explained how he was making a mistake and wasn’t sure what he wanted at the moment. He left angry that day and didn’t talk to me the next day. I ran into the blonde that afternoon and she agreed to an evening walk with me after lights out. At night I crept from my bed quietly towards the door. The boy stood in the darkness before me and made me jump. He told me he knew exactly what he wanted and it couldn’t be wrong if he happily accepted whatever we did together. He asked me to stop him if I wasn’t curious about too. I said nothing as he took my hand and walked us to his bunk bed. I wanted to say something while his lips pressed mine. I wanted to speak up as his pajamas fell off with mine. Not to tell him to stop but to tell him how natural his naked body fit against mine.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for reaching out to Teen Central. It can be difficult to sort out how to feel about a new and unfamiliar experience. We appreciate you trusting us with this very personal experience.
- Navigating romantic relationships can be confusing. Check out the LEARN section for information about sexuality that may help you as you continue to figure out this experience you had and what it means for your relationship with your girlfriend. You may also want to check out stories sent in by other people also learning about their identity and having healthy relationships.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Do you have a trusted friend or family member in your life that you could talk to about this experience? Talking through your thoughts and feelings as you continue to think about this camp experience may be helpful. You may be struggling to figure out if this was a one-time experience that you don’t wish to repeat, or the first step in discovering a part of you that you weren’t aware of before that time. Having someone that will listen without judgment is important.
- If you don’t have someone that you think you can trust to talk about this, consider journaling or using artwork to express your feelings and thoughts. Also, remember to take care of yourself during this time. When our lives shift and something new happens, it can feel stressful. It’s important to continue making sure you’re getting enough rest and doing things to reduce your stress as you work through this.
- Consider talking with your girlfriend about this experience and what it means for your relationship. If you think that you are not sure about being in a relationship with her, be honest with her – for yourself and for her. She will appreciate that you respect her and it may help you feel good about this possible next step in your life.
