Maybe a bit of hope

Don’t think my parents don’t care, because they do, but when it comes to things like this and mental health they just say “don’t worry about it” and things like that.

I don’t have a phone because my parents are too strict for me to have one. I also forgot to say that these splotchy bumps appeared all over my body in certain places. Just before the virus hit the uk (United Kingdom), i went to the gp (general practitioner) and they had no idea what it was. they game me a cream and it went away. now almost a month later they have come back in the same places. that just added to my confusion. no one knows what they are.

i did a bit of research about the human sleep thing. (i forgot what it was called) [refers to Circadian rhythms from “no hope” post]. i think that if i get mine back to normal i will be much better and in control of my thoughts.

i feel like i hate myself because my dad is always saying how i’m so lazy and all i do is play games. let me tell you a story about my life:

about 1 or 2 years ago, i had a show – a talent show for kids. i know it sounds childish but i was getting to be well-known along with my partner who was my cousin. (she is now the only person my age i talk to) she quit because she wanted to do something else. i got a different partner who also quit. then I quit because i discovered my love of acting. ever since then my parents called me a disappointment because i didn’t make them money and because i could have been famous by now.

my dad is the worst when it comes to this. he says things like, “i cant believe she is the same person. all you do is play games. acting wont get you anywhere. i wish you were different.” and things like that. my mom does the same too.

so this, along with the death of my grandpa and having only one friend who is your cousin, and wanting to die, and these mysterious itchy bumps that that no one can explain… yes my life is hell.

HELP YOURSELF

• Greetings to you in the UK from the States! I’m so glad you identified your general region of the world (even though we want you to remain anonymous in order to protect your privacy) because we want to make sure we are giving you resources that will work specifically for you where you are. Also I’m so glad that you felt heard in your first post and that maybe you have a little bit of hope now. It warms our hearts to know you feel connected to a community of people who are experiencing life struggles similar to yours. Never, ever give up! You are too unique. important and special to the world – we mean that with complete sincerity.
• So for resources that you can use – even without a cellphone – you can get to the international Crisis Textline by visiting https://www.crisistextline.org/ Then look in the upper right hand corner of their home page and you will see something that says “Text us, or Message Us on Facebook”. Click on “message us on Facebook“. This will take you to the messenger app where you can begin a conversation immediately with a counselor. If you EVER have suicidal thoughts – and especially if you start to develop a plan to end your life – log onto the computer and visit that website. We want you to have immediate access to someone who will respond to you within minutes if that ever happens okay? The Suicide Hotlines we were able to find for the United Kingdom are as follows: Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK – local rate)
  Hotline: +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom). These would be numbers you’d call from your home phone as opposed to reaching from the computer if you prefer.
• It was nice to see you write that you feel love from your parents even though there does seem to be a little bit of conflict there in those relationships. It sounds like they are struggling to understand your change from childhood into adolescence as much as you are. The transformation you are beginning at this time is a difficult one – not just for you but for them as well. It doesn’t excuse people saying hurtful things to you, but it’s just maybe a reason to explain why it’s happening. Sometimes understanding the emotion behind what’s happening is helpful. Parents become fearful and confused around this time of their child’s life and often do not know how to respond. They knew how to respond when you were a child, but as a growing and budding adolescent it becomes more complicated and confusing for them. And they also have to adjust and figure things out. This causes conflict in many families.

CONSIDER THIS

• The physical issues with the rash you’re having is definitely a concern. We agree you should follow up with your general practitioner again on that issue – and as many times as necessary until it’s resolved. We are not physicians here on TeenCentral, but we agree with you that it’s not something to just ignore. Rashes can develop from bacterial or viral infections, allergic reactions, and can even be a stress reaction in someone’s body. So we hope you consider talking with Mom and Dad about following up. Generally speaking TeenCentral is a strong supporter of Wellness and that includes your physical wellness. On the LEARN and TOOLS tabs there are many resources for you to explore on this topic. The mind-body connection is a very real phenomenon. Wellness in the mind is strongly connected to the body.
• Stress is also a strong consideration here. To feel unaccepted for who you are, or who you are becoming, and what interests you is very stressful. I wonder – have you ever tried to talk with your mother and father about how you feel when these comments are made about you? Perhaps you have and it hasn’t gone well – or perhaps you are too afraid to try. I don’t know. But speaking up for yourself in a respectful way is part of growing up. Learning to say, “That comment made me uncomfortable.” or “I feel disrespected by those comments,” is both difficult and also worthwhile. If a person loves you he/she will respect you more for saying it in a way that is mature and assertive, rather than passive or aggressive.
• Lastly, let me just say one thing about having a little bit of hope. The definition of “hope” is ‘a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen‘. [Oxford Dictionary] The key to this is developing a focus on the future. Think about what’s coming next in the future. It could be tomorrow or next month, next year or 10 years from now. But have a future focus on your life. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in the negative things that are happening now, because they are TEMPORARY. They will pass. And then life will move forward, and what will you want to be doing at that point? Keep your mind focused on those things, okay? And remember – TeenCentral is always here to listen.