i was molested as a young girl. i got that issue situated, but i was never the same. i am 15 years old and i thought i will never love or be loved. i fell in love with this boy i started dating 4 months ago. i lost my virginity (i know that is quick, but i loved him). after we had sex, he broke up with me and started dating someone else and i felt bad about myself for letting him take my virginity. i understand that i shouldn’t have rushed into things, but he really made me feel safe and loved. i don’t know how to ever love someone again.
HELP YOURSELF
- Going through a breakup can be very tough, especially when we are no longer with somebody that made us feel safe and loved. Although you may feel like it will be hard to love somebody else, we hope you recognize that you have already taken a giant step forward in trusting other people by sharing your experience with the rest of the TeenCentral community.
- Even though it may seem like there are a lot of messed up people in the world, please remember that there are lots of people who want to make sure you are feeling safe and supported. If you ever are feeling upset or stressed, you can always text “HELP” to 741741 to reach the Crisis Textline to start chatting with somebody who is ready and willing to listen to you.
- Trying to navigate the many strong emotions involved with a breakup can be overwhelming. It can be even harder if we try to manage all of these intense feelings on our own! Do you feel comfortable and safe talking about this situation with somebody else in your life, like a parent, older sibling, or another trusted adult? The people who care about us can often provide that reassurance and support that make the tough times a little bit easier to bear.
CONSIDER THIS
- Dealing with traumatic experiences can be very difficult and as you stated, can change who you are. Have you ever spoken to anyone about this experience? Please remember that your physical and emotional safety is the number one priority and it is never too late to seek out help! If you are ever feeling unsafe, please make sure to alert your local child protective services or call 911 for immediate assistance. Even if you just need to continue to process what happened to you and its impact, there are many resources for survivors of child sexual abuse that may be able to help. Think about the pros and cons of disclosing your traumatic experience with someone you trust. Remember it is your story to tell.
- If you find yourself continuing to think about the boy that you were dating, you may want to consider what did he do that made you feel so safe and loved? Perhaps you could make a list of these things and think about other qualities that indicate a strong and healthy relationship. Focusing on these positive lessons may decrease some of the pain you are experiencing right now and help you to make your next relationship even more fulfilling than the one you had!
- Whether we are single, in a relationship, or going through a breakup, taking care of ourselves should always be a priority! It is important to make sure that we never forget about the positive and powerful effects that can come from making self-care part of our daily routine. What type of hobbies or activities make you happy and bring a smile to your face? If you want some suggestions for something fun and new to try, check out the “Killing the Corona Boredom” post on the “What’s New” tab of TeenCentral.com.
