I was in a relationship for over a year and a half and the break up was fairly normal. In March of this year, I found out that in August, the year before, he had drugged me and stripped me and took naked pictures of me and sent them to all of his friends. He also touched me while he did it. Although I will never know the extent he touched me, there are pictures to prove that he did touch me. I ended up in a mental hospital because I wanted to die so much. When returning to school, I discovered most of my friends abandoned me, calling me a slut and a whore because of what he had been saying. After this, I began to feel as though life was pointless, and there was no point in being such a good kid. There is no point in not drinking or doing drugs or having sex. It has been 8 months, and I am still struggling with that idea. My parents, however, are yelling at me, saying that “bad behavior cannot be excused by what happened.” I feel as though they don’t understand how hard it is for me to get over it. They say that it happened awhile ago, which it did, and I can’t blame all my bad behavior on it. I understand that, but they don’t understand how badly it affected me, especially because he was the first person I ever loved and I could never see him doing something this cruel. I don’t feel like I can talk to my parents about it either because whatever happens, they are always right. I can never be right because I am the child and they are the adult. Help, please?
I wrote that before and I read the response and I want to share that my parents are punishing me for being sad and I can’t handle that. They took my phone off me and I’m not allowed to see or talk to my best friends. And that honestly makes me worse. They don’t understand that and I can’t make them understand that, so I keep feeling sad and there is no way for me to make it better. I can’t talk to my parents. And since they took everything off me I can’t talk to my friends either, and my friends always make me feel better.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Being misunderstood and severely mistreated by those you love can make you feel like you don’t want to live your own life. You are strong for making an honest effort despite people not believing you when you are telling the truth.
- First of all, your boyfriend committed a crime against you by drugging and possibly raping you. Be brave and realistic by considering speaking to a trusted adult or authority figure like a therapist or the police about what this person did to you because this person should be punished.
- On the Teen Central website under the Help tab there are several numbers you can call including the National Sexual Assault Hotline.
- Educate yourself about your situation. Learn about the law and why people are treating you this way. They may want to use you to their advantage. This is wrong and should not be tolerated. The more you know about something the more you can do to solve the problem. Only talk to people you can trust.
- You are not a bad kid. What happened to you was not your fault. Your parents are not being responsible or loving by treating you in such a cruel manner. Real friends support you through tough times, Find friends and people in general you can trust and who care about you as a person..
- Be positive and find an outlet. This can be anything to distract you like art, writing or listening to music.
- Volunteering can help you see the world in a better way and make friends who think like you. Some great places for teens to volunteer are animal rescue shelters, American Red Cross and Habitat for Humanity, to name a few.
- Continue to be a good kid. Do well in school and live your life in a healthy way. You deserve to live a happy, fulfilled life and don’t allow anyone to convince you otherwise. Never give up because this negative part of your life is only a challenge you need to face.
- You are not a whore or a slut. Your boyfriend forced himself on you and this is not your fault. Your friends may be jealous of you and this is why they are being so cruel by calling you names. Find real friends who love you genuinely.
- You might want to see a psychologist.
- Continue to actively seek ways to make your situation better no matter what.
- Learn to love and respect yourself more from this experience. Let it make you an even stronger person than ever. Your life is worth the effort and there is always a point to being a good kid. This is only an obstacle.
- It may help you immensely to become more spiritual. You may go to the Teen Central website and under the Learn tab click on Spirituality. Being spiritual may make you feel safer. You can try prayer, meditation, yoga or attending church services. You are a good person because you did nothing wrong. Don’t let the negativity of others get in the way of the life you were meant to live.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Can you think of any strong people who have overcome the same obstacles as you?
- In what ways can you learn to set healthy boundaries with people so they learn not to take advantage of you?
- In what ways can you be more aware of the dangers of the world and how to protect yourself against them?
- In what ways can you be more responsible so people learn not to mess with you?
- What life lessons can you learn from the horrible treatment you’ve gotten from others which you clearly do not deserve?
