I am 13 years old and I have been in a relationship with someone for six months. He is my everything. We fight a lot and it isn’t a healthy relationship. We always get mad at each other and he breaks up with me often. One day he was at my house and mad because I wanted to look through his phone. I thought his best friend Caila was trying to take him away from me. He let me have his phone then he grabbed it as soon as I read a certain message. It was my best friend’s brother calling me ugly. I then got frustrated because I wanted to look through the rest. He was upset at himself for letting me see that. I have severe depression and anxiety. So that didn’t help me feel good about myself and he knew it hurt me. I pulled out this jar that had little notes in it. One of them was about my ex. He freaked out. I didn’t know it was in there. All those notes were about big tragic events in my life. One was about me being raped. Another was that I cut. Those things are all that make me as a person. They built me. He picked that paper instead of the other papers that had little things about him. I’m obsessed with him. So then we worked it out and we were going to eat food. I’m self conscious and don’t like eating. I think I have an eating disorder. Anyway, he wanted me to eat and I was going to but he got mad and we always fight over food. He told me he was going to walk out and he did. I chased him then he screamed in my face saying that we were over and all of this other stuff. I let him go. I got my mother and sister and we forced him into the car. I called his grandparents and told them some of what happened. His grandparents thought we were only friends, they didn’t know we were dating. He wanted to kill himself. When we got to his house my mother walked in to explain everything to his grandparents. He went out into the kitchen screaming and yelling. He was angry. Then he came out and said,” I told you I was going to do it”. His grandparents were calm and they said that we were going to the emergency room to get him pumped. I couldn’t breath so I went outside. He ran out the back door and went behind this building. I chased after him and he slipped and hit me in the face. Then I tackled him and everyone came. He overdosed. I saw him almost die right before my eyes. I felt my knees trembling. My fear grew bigger and bigger. I felt like I was suffocating. He got taken away. He was doing good then got life flighted to Pittsburgh. He was critical. He’s doing better now and he was staying at a mental hospital. They don’t treat him well but he is supposed to be getting out tomorrow. I have no idea if my parents will ever let me see him again but I’m going to see him. He’s all that I have.
CONSIDER THIS:
- When a loved one has serious issues it can make you feel worried and affect your own health. You are smart for genuinely caring about him and trying to find ways to deal with the matter even though life is difficult for both of you.
- It can be severely traumatizing to watch someone you love go through bad experiences. This can negatively affect your own health. Be positive. Negativity passes with time.
- The issues you have could make it more difficult for you to deal with your boyfriend’s problems. Talk to a trusted adult or therapist so you can live a normal and happy life.
- Rape, eating disorders, anxiety, depression and cutting yourself are all serious issues that need to be addressed. You can head to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then each respective issue to learn more.
- On the Teen Central website click the Help tab and call one of the numbers for help with one of your problems if necessary.
- In order to be more positive and have a way to fight back, you can try volunteering. Some great organizations are American Red Cross, The Humane Society and Habitat for Humanity.
- Find ways to cheer up your boyfriend. Maybe you can make or buy him a gift. You could buy him a book to make him laugh or one that’s inspirational.
- You can try distracting yourself by listening to music, drawing or painting. Write or draw your feelings in a journal.
- You can try getting a pet. A pet will make you laugh and love you unconditionally.
- You can try convincing your parents that you are responsible and mature enough to see your boyfriend again by doing well in school, doing chores or getting a part-time job. Tell them all the ways you can help him and how this will help you.
- You can try becoming more spiritual. Some spiritual activities include prayer, meditation and yoga. On the Teen Central website click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more about the subject.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Are there any other ways you can earn your parents’ respect so they’ll let you see your boyfriend?
- In what ways can you acknowledge your own issues so you can fix them and live a happy and productive life?
- Is your relationship with your boyfriend making you a better or worse person and is he really the right one for you?
- Would it be better to spend less time with your boyfriend for now so you can both learn to cope with your problems as individuals?
- How can your situation make you a stronger and better person?
