I hate my dad more than I can possibly explain. He has NEVER been there for me, or even tried to protect me when I was being beaten up daily by HIS ex-girlfriend’s son. My dad let me be taken advantage of when I was 7-8 and basically laughed at me when I was having multiple panic attacks a day. The only reason I still have to stay at his house is because he has a lot of money and my mom doesn’t. I hate myself for feeling any affection towards him. I would never hurt him but deep down I just hope that he drops dead so I can have his money and I don’t have to see him anymore.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for reaching out to the Teen Central Community! It takes courage to put yourself out there, especially with a topic as personal as family issues. We hope you know that you are not alone and you can always find support and help here.
- It’s clear you have a lot of anger surrounding the relationship with your Dad and that can be hard to handle. We encourage you to check out some of our resources that can help you work through your feelings and communicate with others to find a solution. Under the “Learn” tab, we have a section on Anger Management that can help you identify its effects and how to cope with it effectively, in addition to a section on anxiety if you are still having panic attacks or experiencing any other anxiousness. We also have a “Tools” tab with many good resources you can use for a variety of different needs. There’s a support plan for those moments when you just aren’t feeling good. There are guides for coping skills such as running, strength training, and yoga to help calm yourself when feeling angry or anxious. You can even find a social skills resource to help you effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings to others.
- Using resources to help support yourself is very important and one of the most important resources you can use are the trusted positive people already in your life. Even though you are having difficulty with your Dad, have you tried talking to him about your thoughts and feelings? Is there another trusted adult you can talk to such as another family member, family friend, or other positive adult figure?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Have you tried journaling or writing down some of your thoughts/feelings? It sounds like even though you have a lot of anger towards your dad, you also mentioned feeling affection and not wanting to hurt him. What are the positive qualities your dad has? Maybe you could use this as a starting point towards having a conversation with him. If talking is not the best option, you could also try writing a letter.
- Coping with all of these thoughts and feelings can be pretty stressful. Don’t forget to take care of yourself during this time. What are some things you can do that bring you happiness – arts/crafts, being active, movies, music, etc. Make sure you find time to engage in these activities to help yourself.
- Who are the people you enjoy spending time with? Find time to see and communicate with these people. They can maybe even help bridge the communication gap between you and your dad to help resolve this tough situation.
