I recently got into an argument with my dad. Usually when we argue, I voice my opinion, but I don’t feel like I’m talking back. Usually Dad gets mad at me, and I get mad at him, but after a day or two, it’s water under the bridge. I asked my friends for advice and they often say I am disrespectful to Dad, but I brush it off. Well my uncle came over and we’re really close. Dad and I got into and argument and my uncle intervened. I agreed with what my uncle said and my dad got upset. He says I respect other adults but not him and I don’t mouth off to other adults, only him. He said I don’t listen to anything he tells me. Now Dad won’t talk to me. My Mom tells me I should make things right with him but I don’t know how. I talked to my friends and they said I act indifferent towards Dad and sometimes they wonder if I hate him since we argue often. That’s not true I love my Dad and I’m sorry if he feels that way. I thought voicing what I thought when he’s being unfair was okay but now I wonder if I said too much. How can I make things right with him and tell him how sorry I am? I do value his opinion and I do care about him.
CONSIDER THIS
Many people get into arguments with their parents. Sometimes after an argument, you may regret some of the things that were said. You are not alone. It’s very commendable of you that you even feel remorseful about some of the things you say to your Dad.
Your Dad loves you very much. He would appreciate you talking to him about some of the things you mentioned on your post. If you tell him that you do love him and that you apologize if in anyway you offended him or crossed the line, he will appreciate it. Talk things out with your Dad and figure out a way to find a middle ground with any issues between the two of you. Maybe the two of you can come to an agreement about any problems with which you both are dealing.
If you think things are really bad, try seeking out a family therapist who can act as a mediator between the two of you. A licensed professional, like a family therapist, is trained to help resolve issues in families. A family therapist may help you and your father out.
You can talk to a close family friend that you trust as well that can help you and your Dad. The friend may be able to help you see your Dad’s position and/or the friend can help your Dad see your side of things. A third party can help resolve issues between you and your Dad.
Whenever you feel things are about to get out of control during a disagreement, take a step back and maybe even remove yourself from the situation. Cool off before you feel you may say something you could regret.
HELP YOURSELF
Who can you trust to talk to about your Dad?
What triggers the arguments between you and your Dad?
How would you advise a friend that is also having a problem with their parent?
What can you do to remove yourself from the situation before an argument gets too bad?
What will you tell your Dad when you have a chance to speak to him about how you feel?
