My family is the cause of my depression, I always put people’s happiness before mine, Ever since I was little my mother with hit me anything she found she would take it and hit me it didn’t matter what it was she would hit me. One time my elbow was broken after she had hit me since I was throwing up a lot I don’t remember much since I was blacked out. I would never ask my mother for the thing that I wanted because I didn’t want her to waste her money, But she would buy my sister the things she wants. I never knew my father but I would hear from my other family members he was such a sweet guy, But if I talked to my mom about him she would get mad and say that he did nothing for me that she raised me. Now I’m 15 years old and I’m in 11th grade and I believe I have depression and anxiety. One time I talk to my stepdad and he was supported but when he told my mother she didn’t care she carried on beating me and calling me names saying how I’m dumb why would I want to go to college if I’m this dumb and many things. After years and years of being brought down by my mother the love for her I once had begun fading away. I’m waiting till I’m 18 that I leave this place and never look back, I’m always put her happiness before mines but it cost a lot. It’s hard for me to be happy because anything or anymore that makes me happy my mom takes away from me. I had a boyfriend one year older than me, he was the nicest person I had in my life. He would always make me happy when I’m down. But when my mother took my Laptop away while I was texting him (I had to use a laptop because I don’t have a phone) she saw our message there was nothing we talked about how he gave me the hope to be alive again. But my mother took it a different way and called me a Bi*ch and I’m nasty. He was the only person in my life that never left and was always there for me when no one was which made me fall in love with me. My mother took my laptop away so I have to use the computer downstairs so she can watch what I do. Also, I am a part of the LGBT+ community I am bisexual and a trans man but my mother doesn’t know because if she did she would kick me out because of who I am. One time we were in the car, she said if I ever dated a girl she would kill me. So I didn’t say a thing when she said that, but that’s when I knew that I should not come out to her at all. I don’t want you to think that she is doing this for her good. I do deserve being hit most of the time for some of the things I do but not all the time from the little thing I do. My mother’s background and where she comes from hitting their children was normal.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What you have been through in your lifetime would be scary for anyone to go through. Remember it is ok to feel overwhelmed or upset. Sometimes when we go through these really intense events, it can trigger really big feelings. The Teen Central community is here to offer as much support as we can.
- Always remember that if you are ever in a situation where you do not feel safe at home, please dial 911 for immediate assistance. Your safety is the number one priority. You can also text “HELLO” to 741741 for instantaneous 24 hour a day support. It is never ok for anyone to make you feel unsafe.
- A lot of the intense events that you have gone through may need additional support than Teen Central can provide. Remember, telling your story is just one step on your journey. Seeking out the help of a trusted adult, might be beneficial in your process. Do you have anyone in your life that you can turn to for support? A counselor or therapist? A teacher from school? A neighbor or family member? Talking about your story might be the first step towards feeling safer.
CONSIDER THIS:
- It’s really important for all of us to develop a safety plan for situations that may cause us to feel unsafe or sad. What coping skills (things that help you ease your big emotions) can you use if you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed? Is there anything that brings your mind at ease? Think about those coping skills and write them down.
- Or, you can always try something new. If you don’t have any activities to keep your mind off things, Teen Central has a bunch of ideas on the “What’s New” tab. Try one of those out. Just taking 10-15 minutes to yourself can ease some of your anxious feelings. When our feelings are better managed, we tend to communicate in more effective ways.
- If you are struggling with your gender identity or sexual orientation, you may want to check out our LGBTQ section on Teen Central. If you click on the LEARN tab, then the drop down box labeled sexuality, there is a bunch of information that may be useful. Remember it is your decision to disclose your sexuality if you choose to; no one else’s.
