My goal as a kid wasn’t to become an artist, it was to make my mother proud and make her love me while searching for my own happiness for when I leave and live on my own.
My mom is very bossy, she’s smart, wealthy and is usually the leader in a group. Me, my brother and my grandma would be kneeling for her like slaves if you’d put us in a painting. We’re “a lower rank”.
When I was still young, my brother was my age and ran away from home twice at midnight. Now I’m thinking about it too but I’m a girl…
We were never a very close family, we got into fights because of her religion at a young age. We grew up with manners, learned what kind of clothes to wear and more.
That’s the first problem, my mom wants me to wear these expensive looking clothes that AREN’T COMFY FOR ME.
I’m super insecure and I’m more info fashion of today then the rest of my family members.
I usually just say nothing but as I grew older, I decided I should tell her “I don’t want to wear this mom. It’s not my style” But she kept bringing me those clothes and I kept declining. She got mad:” What’s wrong with this child, her brother looks like a manager while she looks like a homeless man” something she’s told me at least once every two years
I always cry when she says this.
My brother is like my mother, they think with only logic. While I am like my dad, I care a lot about other’s emotions/feelings, and I often can’t control mine.
I feel bad for the villain when they die, I start crying when I get an answer wrong, I represent myself in others their places so much that when I see a video of an accident, I get nightmares about it.
I also have social anxiety, which upsets my mother even more.
There is so much wrong with me. I become emotional every time she says those things. I cry every 5 minutes when I am forced to draw something I don’t wanna draw.
My used to be amazing hobby turned into a chore and I hate it.
Do I just endure it?
HELP YOURSELF:
- First… Nothing is wrong with you. You may have challenges you are looking to overcome but who you are and how you feel about things isn’t wrong. We are all a work in progress.
- Thanks for reaching out to TeenCentral community for support! Family issues can be hard to talk about, so we appreciate you having the courage in yourself and trust in us. Unfortunately, there are a lot of teens who struggle with their parents, so you are definitely not alone in what you are experiencing. Sometimes reading the stories of others can help us as we work to overcome our own obstacles… you should check them out.
- It sounds like you could use someone to talk to about this. If you can’t talk to your mom about your feelings, do you have any positive family members or adults that you feel comfortable chatting with?
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:
- We can imagine how frustrating it could be to have a hobby you enjoy be transformed into something you don’t like. If art is something you truly love, we encourage you to try and take that back. Create art on your terms and the way you want as much as you can. What are the things about art you used to enjoy? Try to get back to those things.
- If you truly feel like art is no longer positive for you, what are some other hobbies and things that make you happy? Maybe it’s just a different kind of art like painting or it could be totally different like yoga or reading. The good thing is it’s up to you.
- Being an emotional person is not a bad thing, but it can easily affect your own emotions and bring you down if you don’t cope and process things. Aside from identifying and using coping skills, it’s also important to make sure you have solid support systems. We understand your relationship with Mom is tough but who are your other support systems that you can lean on and feel happy around?
