| I’m not necessarily the best-behaved kid, but I think I’m decent enough. But my mom…she’s something else. When I finish all of my schoolwork, I go take a break and watch Stranger Things with a bag of chips. But then my mom starts yelling at me about how I’m lazy and how I do nothing around the house and how I need to stop eating because it makes me get big. And then she hits me. Every day. I try to help out more around the house, but even that doesn’t seem like enough for her. She constantly gaslights me and my sister about how she’s a single mom working to pay the bills, and it’s just so EXHAUSTING. She stresses out everyone in a 20-mile radius of her! Not to mention that she’s always talking about my weight, and how I eat too much and that I’m getting too fat. It gets me seriously insecure about how I look, and now I hate eating. And I hate to say it, but when she does all of this, it makes me hate her. I feel bad for hating her because I know she gave birth to me and all that jazz, but it makes me wish I wasn’t born. If I had the choice between having her as my mother or me not existing, I would choose to cease from existence. I want to find a way to talk about it with her or cope with it all, but I’m scared of her. Any suggestions?
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for reaching out to the Teen Central Community! Sounds like you going through a tough time with your Mom and it can be very difficult to reach out for support. It takes a lot of STRENGTH and COURAGE to be vulnerable and share your story. We appreciate you trusting us and it’s important to know you are not alone and we are here to support you.
- Here at Teen Central we have many resources to help during the hard times you are going through. For starters, you can read the stories of others who are going through similar issues. You can even search for keywords in these stories to narrow down the topics by using the search bar in the top right of the page.
- It’s great that you took the step of trying to find a way to talk to your Mom about the issues you’re experiencing. It can be discouraging if it doesn’t always go well but don’t let that stop you trying to communicate. Talking to others is a huge part of coping. Are there any other trusted family members or adults you can talk to about this issue with your mom? Maybe they could help you get your thoughts together and help your mom listen to you.
CONSIDER THIS:
- The pressure of saying difficult things can stop us in our tracks. Like anything that’s tough to do, getting good at talking takes practice. One of the ways you could practice identifying your thoughts and feelings is through journaling. Check out the What’s New section for a resource about Journaling as a Way to Cope with Stress. Journaling doesn’t have to be full sentences, either. This isn’t schoolwork. You can write words, phrases, poetry, song lyrics – whatever helps you get out your thoughts. Then you have them to look over and work on some more until it’s just how you want it.
- When it comes to our bodies and our appearance, there’s lots of pressure from TV, Internet, social media, and other people about how we “should” look. If you are healthy, and you feel ok about how you look, then that’s the most important thing. If you don’t feel ok about how you look or feel, decide what you want to do about it, and make sure that those choices are healthy and safe before doing anything. Some people cope with boredom, sadness or anxiety by eating. If you want to make some changes for yourself, check out the LEARN section for information about Eating as well as how to understand an FDA Food Label in TOOLS.
- Self-care is extremely important all the time but especially when going through challenges. What are the things that you can do and enjoy doing that will help with your physical and emotional wellness? We also encourage you to check out some of the resources under the “LEARN” and “TOOLS”“ tabs as there are various things there that can help with your overall wellness.
- In addition to doing things that make you happy and healthy, it’s also important to maintain positive connections with others who make you happy. It can be difficult during the current COVID pandemic but not impossible. Who are the people you enjoy spending time talking to and are there creative ways you can stay in contact with them?
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