I know it’s probably none of my business but I caught my mom out on a date with another guy. I went to the mall with my friends and there she was. I wanted to believe it was a good friend of hers, but I saw the way she interacted with him. I felt really bad for my dad and embarrassed, so I just ran away. Ever since that day, I’ve been getting into arguments with her. I have an older brother who lives alone and I went to stay with him for a couple of days. My dad is upset with me. He thinks I’m acting like a spoiled brat, but I can’t tell him. He loves mom so much and thinks highly of her. I did too until now. I feel like she betrayed dad and our family. I don’t want to talk to her for awhile. I never thought mom could do that. Should I tell my dad or mind my own business? It’s eating me up inside. Dad is going to be devastated.
CONSIDER THIS:
- When you find out your parents aren’t perfect it can make you feel disappointed and uncomfortable. You are genuine for considering the feelings of your dad despite your mom’s negative behavior making you unhappy.
- Consider the consequences of telling your dad about your mom’s affair. If you tell him he may get angry at you because he may be trying to ignore their marital issues. This could cause a big fight with everyone ganging up on you. Or, your dad may be grateful which might be the less likely scenario because grown-ups usually know, at least subconsciously, what’s really going on between them.
- Ask the advice of a trusted adult or counselor. This might help you calm down and be able to live your life in peace.
- The best thing to do might be to stay out of the situation and let it go because this is could be a major problem for your parents. Think about what could happen to you because people often get hostile towards an honest person who wants to deliver a life-altering message. Keep yourself safe.
- You can try being more spiritual. Head to the Teen Central website and click on the Learn tab then Spirituality to read about it. Try meditation, yoga or prayer to help you see that the situation will eventually resolve itself.
- It might help you to write down your feelings and ideas on whether you should tell your dad about your mom’s affair. List pros and cons. This might help you piece your thoughts together.
- Focusing on normal teenage activities could take your mind off things. Remember that you’re still a kid and it might be healthiest for you to stay out of the situation. Listen to music, draw or learn a musical instrument. Have fun!
- You might benefit from volunteer work so you don’t lose your mind. This will allow you to do something positive if you’re not able to help your dad. You can volunteer at an animal shelter, environmental organization or tutor children. Find something you’re good at and that you enjoy doing.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Do you think it’s appropriate for you to get involved in your parent’s relationship issues? What are the best and the worst case scenarios that could result if you were to tell your father about what you saw at the mall?
- How do you feel about just being there for your dad without talking about such a touchy subject as an affair?
- How do you feel about speaking to another trusted adult, like a friend’s parent or a teacher?
