My mom shames me for feeling basic negative emotions, if I use a slightly disappointed tone when i have to slave away to her she will say “STOP BEING MISERABLE!!!”. She won’t let me cry outside my room and she always invalidates me when I do by saying “you know how much I do every day? I have to feed 4 mouths (me, my sister, my dad and her) every day and I have to clean every day.” she will leave my room empty if I call her out and increase the time without my fun if I express negative emotion. I have to walk on eggshells for her all the time. Everytime she goes anywhere she will force me to watch my sister who thinks I’m her robot and flings demands at me. I’m afraid of making any noise when closing doors cause she will scream like a banshee with rabies and curse me out if I slam any doors. She is the most toxic mom I’ve seen and I constantly have to pretend I love her and she pretends she loves me too
How To Help Yourself
- First off thank you for writing into TeenCentral.It takes courage to tell your story .
- If you feel as though you are unsafe there are a few resources that can be contacted. I have listed them below . If you feel as though you are in immediate danger please call your local police for assistance.
Child Help USA National Hotline
Available 24/7, over 170 languages
Helps youth who are suffering child abuse
1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
http://www.childhelpusa.org/
- Is there someone that you can talk to ? This can be anyone from a school teacher, guidance office, coach, or religious leader. If you do not feel as though you can speak to someone in one of these roles please talk to any supportive adult such as another family member, or even a friends parent. Sometimes adults can give some really great advice that we don’t expect them to give.
Consider This
- Have you tried talking to your mom about how she makes you feel? We can do this in a very respectful way . We have a great new tool called FAMILY in our LEARN section of the website. This might give some great advice on how to have those tough conversations.
- Sometimes emotions can feel really big . It is always a good idea to find an outlet for this. This can be anything that you find joy in such as going for a walk , or a project that you might like to do .
- Lastly, getting out some of those feeling could be really beneficial. I often suggest people to journal their feelings . It is shown that the brain will process things more as we write them down because we are using multiple parts of the brain all at once. It gets out some of those feelings that are getting stuck in there in a constructive and safe way. Good Luck and remember you are not alone.
