Hii … I was in 8th standard and one day me and my mom were at our relatives house . I was getting bored there so I took my mother phone and opened whatsapp and was chatting with my friend . A notification appeared on the screen of someone’s msg and the msg was miss u . I was hell confused what to do . I controlled myself not to open the chat but could not resist it and I opened it after reading the msgs I was shocked to discover that my mother was having an affair . I mind stopped working . I have a bother who is 6 yrs older to me . I thought I should talk to him . This was my biggest mistake . He was in college at that time was his exams were about to start . I didn’t knew that he has his exams round the corner and at that moment my brain was also not working so I called him and told him whatever I read in the msgs . I told him not to react when he will come back we will talk about this and confront our mother . I was somewhat relieved . I tried to behave normally with my mother as if idon’t know any thing .
Few days later in late evening I came back home with one of my friend . I went to my mother room to bring something from there . she was talking with my brother on her phone very angrily that moment I was normal I thought that she might be scolding him for something after an hour or so she called me in her room and asked me that what did I say to my brother ? I freaked out and started to cry and was shivering . I told her everything I read and she told me to leave the room . I left the room after sometime she left the house crying and followed her and talked to her . till then my father returned home and we had to show that everything was normal so we went back home . After sometime my mother called a friend and friend talked to me that there is nothing going on between my mother and that man . She told me that that man was a gay and to mock him they refer him as baby . At that moment I behaved as if I was convinced . Me and my mother were not talking to each other a few weeks . I greatest thing on which I was mad at her was that she did not apologized and rather she was mad at me that I told this thing to my brother . At that time my only support was my brother and his was only me so we talked to each other all day long and consoled each other . Slowly things became normal again .
Year passed , I came in 9th standard again the same thing happened I was using my mother’s phone a msg popped out and that msg was I Love You . This I was shocked even more than before a few days later my mom got to know that i saw the msg she came to me and said that what do you know ? and what allegation I have to put on her ? I again told her that i saw an I Love You msg on your phone and she said its nothing i believed her because she talks toh her friend like that only and i msg that came was from a female friend of her . Every thing became normal again .
Year passed , I came in 10th standard this year every thing was online due to corona virus so on my laptop my mothers whatsapp web was activated I opened it because I had sent a document to her that i had to download on my laptop so i opened it again the same thing happened this time i was not at all shocked I reacted as if its very normal for me . And this time I did not told anyone and neither have my mom known till yet that i know that she is having an affair . I started reading their chats and day by day the level of chat was degrading they started sexual msgs this had a really bad affect in my academics . Till date I have not told anyone about this . But i think i cannot handle this anymore because it has started affecting my studies
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for sharing your story with us at Teen Central. This seems to be weighing on you and it is not surprising that your studies are affected. When there are stressors in our life it can affect many parts of our lives. You are showing courage to reach out for help.
- You stated in your story,”I think I cannot handle this anymore…” and I think your instincts are exactly correct. You are not meant to handle all of this on your own. This issue with your mom’s affair is for your mom to handle. It’s too heavy a burden for you to be carrying all of this alone. I would recommend that you share with your mother that you’ve discovered messages again and you don’t want to see these things. They either need to be better hidden, you need your own computer or this situation needs to be worked out with her and your father. It’s not something for you to be burdened with keeping a secret. You have the right to focus on your studies and the normal things young people your age typically focus on.
- Also – You are not alone. If you look at some of the other stories on Teen Central you will find other teens who have experienced similar situations. Feel free to read their stories and the recommendations made for them.
- When we feel overwhelmed it can be helpful to talk to someone. You mentioned talking to your brother and then feeling better. Can you talk to him more frequently? Or is there someone else you can trust to talk to? This could be a neighbor, family member, or teacher. It is important to talk to someone about the feelings you are experiencing. Letting strong emotions build up can make things more difficult. It is important to have someone that you can share your thoughts and feelings with openly and honestly.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Finding an outlet to release some of the building emotions you may be experiencing is really important. Yoga, aerobic exercise, art, and music are some examples. You can pick whatever activity you enjoy. What kinds of healthy outlets can you use? If you need some ideas look under the “Tools” tab on Teen Central.
- Sometimes when something is weighing heavily on our mind, things can seem like they are spinning out of control. We lose our sense of control and find ourselves lost in a sea of thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help you express and sort out what you may be feeling and thinking. If you need more journal prompts, check out our “What’s New” Tab or follow this link, https://teencentral.com/journaling-as-a-coping-skill-for-stress/.
