My mother has anger issues. She calls me worthless and a failure. She tells me daily that I should kill myself. She’s not always like this sometimes she’s like the best mother in the world but most of the time she treats me like shit. I got a low final percentage last year. I used to study for 10+ hours daily and I’m pretty sure it was the fault of the exam checker. Now I’m repeating grade 11 and instead of supporting me through this setback my mother tells me that I wasted their money (even though my family is very well off). Literally anything can trigger her. She usually does this before I go to school I spend the whole day wishing to get hit by a car or fall of the building or something just so I wouldn’t have to go home. And she tells me everyday how I need to get straight As or she’ll make me give up my education. I kinda do see her point I mean she needs a good result like every other parent but I need to put in all of my energy in trying to stay sane and not let her words get to me. I cry everyday before going to school and am not able to concentrate in classes at all. And it sucks seeing everyone with parents who actually care about them. I try to be the perfect child but I’m a human too. She takes everything personally. One time I woke 5 minutes later than usual and she said that I do stuff like this because I want her to die. She tells me to just go on and kill her in one blow and stuff. After doing all this she blames it all on me and says that I must’ve done something to deserve this. She says it’s God punishing me. Then she goes on and gives me silent treatment and manipulates my dad (who doesn’t like me either) into believing all this too. At the end it’s always me who has to apologise. This kind of stuff keeps haunting and I’m always on the verge of crying. She calls me ugly and what not. I have zero self confidence and am full of insecurities because of her. I stay in school from 8 am to 4 pm even on the days I don’t have classes. I thought I could deal with it on my but it’s getting so difficult. I don’t know what to do anymore.
HELP YOURSELF NOW:
- Thank you for sharing your story with us at TeenCentral. You certainly have a lot going on in your life right now, which can certainly cause extra stress. Your mother’s responses certainly do not appear to be helpful. Reaching out for help is brave and courageous. Be proud of yourself!
- Your safety is the most important thing! If you ever feel like you are in danger or need immediate help, there are resources out there for you. On the Teen Central website under the “HELP” tab, there are numbers you can call to get help, including 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), or you can text HELLO to 741741 if making a call isn’t possible. These resources are available 24/7. Your safety is the most important thing!
- You do not seem to be getting the support you need right now from your parents. Who is in your life that can give you support during this difficult time? This may be a teacher, guidance counselor, a religious leader, or another family member. Having someone to talk to is important for you at this time.
HELP YOURSELF LATER:
- School and the grades you receive at school seem to be a large stressor in your life currently. When we are living in stressful situations, it can be quite taxing on our bodies. How do you take care of yourself during these times? What can you do that may help you feel better? This may be talking to someone, taking a walk, doing yoga/aerobic exercise, doing art, etc. When we participate in these activities it can help release endorphins, which in turn help us feel better. There are some additional ideas on the TeenCentral Website under Tools – Wellness.
- Have you ever tried journaling? Expressing what you feeling and what is going on in your life may be helpful. Keeping all of those thoughts and feelings building up inside is not helpful. Write about what is going on in your life. Write about how you feel about school. What do you enjoy about school? What is the worst part about school? Write about your relationship with your mother. This may even be something you can share with her at a later date if you don’t feel comfortable talking to her directly.
