My mother always abuses me. My dad has never landed a hand on me. My mother beats me with the belt or her hands to the point where I have bruises and marks all up and down my body. One time she had woken me up from my sleep beating me with the belt. I was screaming and crying, but she enjoys every bit of it. I do make a lot of mistakes but never often. She takes a little thing and turns it into someone big. She’ll call me a dirty whore and call me a dumb ass and she says things like “you are never going to get anywhere you are just going to be a fat ass on the couch eating chips” and “you are a dirty whore who doesn’t deserve anything”. She’ll also say things likes she is going to send me off somewhere to a new family. I’m writing this right now, because it is getting very bad to the point where I want to overdose or kill her or myself. Sometimes she even lies on me to people. She will tell people things that i didn’t do or say. She tells me all i want to do is have sex and do drugs. She will tell me she hopes I get raped. I’m really starting to think she hates me. She is always telling me why I can’t be like my sister that gets straight A’s and doesn’t do anything wrong. I need help before I snap and kill myself.
HELP YOURSELF:
- We’re so sorry that you are struggling with your mom and feeling so mistreated. No one has the right to hurt someone else, and there are many laws that protect children from physical, emotional and sexual abuse as well as neglect. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
- Before you do ANYTHING to hurt yourself – STOP! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There is help and hope out there, and just like you found us, you can easily find the help you need. One of the things we want you to do when you feel like hurting yourself is call 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741. You will be connected with someone right away that is ready to listen and trained to help you.
- It’s important to have a plan to keep yourself and your family safe, not only when thoughts to hurt yourself or your mother become overwhelming, but also when you are being hit, humiliated or threatened. We know it’s hard to consider, but we strongly recommend you call 911 and let the police come to the house to help you and your family stay safe. Identify a safe place in your house that you can get to when you are being hit or hurt. If someplace in your house won’t work, plan with a neighbor, trusted friend, other family members that when things are unsafe you can run there.
- You mentioned that your dad never laid a hand on you. Could you talk with him about what is happening with your mom? Is he aware that this is happening? If you can’t talk with your dad, go back to the idea of a neighbor, trusted friend or other family members. Think of someone that you could tell what is going on between you and your mom – could it be a teacher or a guidance counselor? Even if that person doesn’t feel they can help you, having someone just listen can offer some temporary relief from the overwhelming stress of the situation.
WHEN YOU CAN:
- You are being flooded with lots of very negative, hurtful messages about yourself. Coping with the things your mom says means that you need to take care of yourself just as much as she is saying negative things. So, if she’s saying something hurtful every day, then you need to do something every day to help you remember the good things about you and not let her painful messages get in your head. This may mean doing something like meditation, yoga, deep breathing, taking a walk, calling a friend, playing with a pet, listening to your favorite music, etc., etc. It’s ok for this to be a commitment, like an appointment, for you to take care of you.
- Would you consider talking with a therapist or counselor? People that are exposed to this kind of repeated abuse find having someone to talk through it with can really help. You can ask your guidance counselor to help you find someone, or if you’re good with the computer you can google – therapy in my area. You can also call non-emergency 911, and ask them to help connect you to the child abuse hotline in your area, or to crisis services for your county. They would also be able to help.
- If you need some help figuring out how to help yourself, or take care of yourself, spend some time looking at the LEARN and TOOLS sections of Teen Central. In TOOLS, you’ll find lots of resources for yoga, meditation and building a support plan. In TOOLS, you can read about depression, preventing suicide, self-injury and wellness. Please take advantage of the resources we offer and take care. WE WANT YOU TO BE HERE!
