I turned 16 back in March and got my first job shortly after. When I got my first paycheck, I decided to go out and splurge. I visited a clothing store and happened to wander into the men’s section. On a whim, I decided to buy a package of men’s briefs. Y’know, tighty whities. I dunno, I guess I was just curious as to how wearing them would feel. Turns out they’re super comfortable and I actually prefer them to panties. I’ve since bought several more and they are the only kind of underwear I want to wear now.
My parents have been on my case about this ever since. They keep asking if I’m a lesbian or trans (I’m neither). I’ve tried explaining my reason for wearing them, but it doesn’t do any good. I don’t understand why they insist on making such a big deal out of this. It’s just underwear, for Pete’s sake! If I think men’s undies are more comfortable, what difference does it make? They’ve always been kinda on the conservative side, but this is ridiculous IMO.
Also, I bought these underwear with my own money. Back when I first got my job, they said I was free to buy any new clothes I liked without clearing it with them first. So it seems kinda hypocritical for them to be making such a big deal out of this now.
Am I wrong for thinking this is no big deal? And if I’m not wrong, any thoughts on what I can say to my parents to get them to lighten up about this?
CONSIDER THIS:
- Being judged too harshly by those you love can make you feel confused and offended. You are smart for questioning your own intentions and those of your parents’ so you know whether you’re doing the right thing or not.
- Many times the smallest actions can have a deeper meaning than a person realizes. Although it may seem ridiculous that you’re being judged for wearing men’s underwear, you may want to ask yourself why you do this. You can begin by writing your personal thoughts on the subject in a daily journal to try to figure out your true feelings.
- Your parents may be worried about your well being and just want the best for you. Sometimes some things are a bigger deal to others because they understand them better. Since it doesn’t bother you that you wear men’s underwear, and you’re not lesbian or transsexual, maybe the problem has nothing to do with your sexual preferences or gender or anything sexual at all. You might just enjoy living an honest life without worrying too much about sexual orientation. This can be a good thing as long as you don’t let others take advantage of your innocent way of life.
- You and your parents may think differently. If this is the case, you might benefit from explaining to them that your behavior has nothing to do with sexual orientation and men’s underwear is simply just a piece of clothing to you, if it is.
- You can consider the ethical consequences of your actions by being more spiritual. Prayer, yoga and meditation are useful for calming down, focusing better and gaining depth in your everyday life among other things. Attend church services to get more involved. If you literally only view men’s underwear as a piece of clothing unrelated to sexual orientation, you might be seriously misunderstood. If this is the case, you can use spirituality to forgive people for misjudging you when you don’t have bad intentions at all.
- You can try wearing the type of women’s underwear that is similar to what men wear such as boy shorts or boxer briefs. These might be just as comfortable as men’s underwear, plus you won’t have to worry so much about being judged. Although if this bothers you, it’s best to be yourself.
- If you feel like you may have deeper issues than you realize, you can consider speaking to a trusted therapist. Head to the Teen Central website and visit the Learn tab to read about some of the issues. You may also explore the other tabs if you’d like.
- Creativity is useful for self-expression. You can try drawing, coloring in a coloring book, creative writing or listening to music. Art can help you be yourself, express your feelings and let them out in a healthy way.
HELP YOURSELF:
- In what ways can you help others by committing to positive goals and ethical standards?
- In what ways can having a positive mindset improve your everyday life and make your own future brighter?
- How can forgiving others for possibly misjudging your intentions benefit you?
- How can spirituality make your life more meaningful when you need it most?
