My parents have been arguing for ages. Last weekend they argued the most I’ve ever seen for them. Mum was out of control, slamming doors, breaking things and even shouting at me for nothing. I had a serious mental breakdown and started shaking and crying. I honestly felt like I couldn’t breathe. Tonight it happened again. Mum was arguing with dad about how he doesn’t appreciate her. She’s hard on him and he’s hard on her. They always argue now. I’m getting depressed again. Last year I had the same issue, but it was mostly me. I had a borderline eating disorder and kept falling out with my family. I had depression, though I hadn’t been to the doctor or any therapists to confirm that, I just had a strong feeling I did. I even felt suicidal at times. That was last year in June and July. Now it’s almost Christmas and I feel like they won’t stop. I just cut off a toxic ‘friend’ of mine. We had been friends since year 3 (I’m in year 9 now) but we always argued. Our longest time was for 8 months. but she kept slagging me off and breaking me. I’d had enough so I told her everything. I said how fake she is around people, how toxic she is to me, how she and her group was bullying me and how my family hates her. She’s the worst person I could ever imagine and right now I’m full of hatred. I don’t want to speak to anyone but my best friends and nan, but I don’t think my nan is awake. I never ever text or talk to her much but we went out somewhere today with her and she knows about the argument. I just want to tell her what’s happening because it’s heartbreaking. I hate saying this but I’m just giving up. I feel like my parents should get a divorce and end all this. I’m crying. My tears are falling down my face and my neck. I’m cracked glass. I could break at any point and I know it won’t be long until that happens.
CONSIDER THIS:
- When your whole world falls apart it can make you feel alone and like nothing will ever be good again. You are strong for persevering through these trying times even though you feel so down.
- Being a teenager will likely be one of the most difficult times of your life. Try not to take it personally when your parents fight or get mad at you for no reason. They’re not perfect, as no one is. But this still doesn’t mean they have the right to make life harder on you. You’re still a kid and shouldn’t be forced to feel traumatized over it.
- Try not to stress out over your parents’ possible divorce. Sometimes couples just don’t belong together. Be positive because everything happens for a reason.
- Hating others will only affect your own health and well-being. You were right to stop speaking to to this so-called ‘friend’. Toxic people are very unhappy and will ruin your life if given the slightest chance. Learn to keep healthy boundaries. Only spend time with friends and family who love and respect you as a person. No one deserves to be treated badly for nothing.
- A real friend will be a positive influence on you and love you as yourself. They won’t bully you or bring you down when times get tough. Be yourself and you’ll eventually find people who accept you as you.
- You might benefit from speaking to a trusted therapist or counselor. You can also head to the Teen Central website and click the Help tab to calk one of the hotlines to text or talk to someone.
- On the Teen Central website, you can go to the Learn tab and read about depression, body image (eating disorders), suicide and anything else that may help you. Knowledge is power. Empowering yourself with information can help you deal with almost any problem that gets thrown at you.
- Having a healthy outlet, like creativity, to express your feelings is vital to your health and well-being. Activities to try include drawing, writing, playing a musical instrument or coloring in a coloring book. Art can be therapeutic and lots of fun.
- You can find something else to focus on like reading a book, watching a humorous movie or reading inspiring quotes. Maybe you can head to your local library or park to get away.
- You can try getting involved in activities away from home more often by volunteering. This might also help you make friends who share your values. Volunteer by helping the environment, animals or reading books to children. Pet shelters often need people who care to walk dogs. You can even adopt one so you feel like someone loves you unconditionally. Being in a more positive environment will help you see that good people exist.
- You might need spirituality at this time to help you. On the Teen Central website, click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more. Spiritual techniques to try are prayer, meditation or yoga. You can also attend a church service where you might gain a new depth and understanding of your situation. There are genuine people in this world who care about the welfare of others. You just need to search for them.
- You can try being positive by repeating positive affirmations to yourself. If you’d like to, you can express your feelings by writing or doing art in a journal each day.
- If you feel safe doing so, you can suggest to your parents, in a kind manner, that they get marriage counseling.
- You can research inspiring people who’ve made something positive out of horrible circumstances. Humanitarians, human rights activists, artists, scientists and celebrities have often beat their problems to become what they are today.
HELP YOURSELF:
- How do you feel about writing down more ways to be creative in your free time?
- How can you commit to having the best life for you, now and in the future?
- In what ways can you have a good future by focusing on getting good grades in school?
- What can you learn from the problems you endure?
