My sister and her husband raise me. I love them both dearly, and I’m very extroverted so I need to spend quality time with them to feel love. But it feels like I’m not my sister’s priority anymore. She works long hours, and will almost always choose to work instead of spending time with me. She gets out of talking to me, hugging me, sometimes even being in the same room with me. Am I missing something or is she just losing her love for me?
HELP YOURSELF:
- It must be very difficult to feel like you have to question if someone still cares about you. It’s really good that you are seeking feedback and trusted us here at TeenCentral for help. Thank you!
- Going through a situation where you might feel alone or not cared about can be tough but here at TeenCentral you are never alone. One good way to feel connected can be reading some of the other stories within our page. We also encourage you to check out the article on “Missing affection” within our “What’s New” tab that even includes a super helpful tool called a virtual hug. Other great resources such as daily positive reminders and a support plan can be found under our “Tools” tab.
- A great starting point for you is already being able to recognize your personality and needs – that’s important. Human beings are social creatures and we naturally seek out connections. Unfortunately this can be a hard task, especially during a pandemic where physical connections are not recommended. Oftentimes, when people are going through their own stress, they can lose sight of how others are feeling. Have you tried asking her to set aside some time for a conversation? If that’s not an option, or even if it is, are there any other positive adult figures in your life you could talk to about how you’re feeling?
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
- You mentioned that spending time with your sister is difficult so finding time for an in person chat could be tricky. Don’t worry though – there are other ways to reach out and express yourself. Could you maybe try writing her a letter expressing how you feel? Even if writing to her isn’t a preferred option, journaling for your own benefit can be a great way to cope with many of the things you are thinking and feeling about the situation. Check out the What’s New section for Journaling to Cope with Stress.
- It’s great that you know spending time with certain people helps make you feel good and loved. What are some of the other things in your life that make you feel this way? It doesn’t have to be people, it can be anything such as a favorite book/ movie, doing something creative, or even going outside and being active. It’s always good to have a variety of different things that you can use to boost your mood.
- You mentioned that your sister is working long hours. Depending on how much income is coming into the home, it may be necessary for your sister to work longer hours than usual to provide for you all. Consider the toll it may be taking on your sister and her husband for her to be away from home so much too. We bet if you talked about missing her, they both may have some similar feelings. Because you’re struggling to find time together as a family, consider making the most of it. Commit to having dinner together, playing a game together once a week, going for a walk together if the weather is nice, etc. Think quality over quantity. You may feel just as connected and loved with one hour together really connecting versus four hours together with everyone on their phones and just sharing space.
