I’m a little bit confused. I have a girlfriend but we don’t have too much time together. Almost 3 months, but the thing is, her ex is always behind her and can’t accept the fact that they broke up. At the beginning I didn’t say anything to her when she started telling me about him . “She had 3 years with him” but I know that 3 years with someone means a lot. Ii let her have some time. I never pressured her about not talking with him. but recently I saw a message that she was talking with a friend and told her that the ex wanted her back and she really felt happy with me and she likes me too much but she still loves the ex with her soul and dont want to be with the ex. But every time the ex is near to her she’s feeling confused. I decided to talk to her without mentioning what I saw. I told that I love her and I wanted to be with her but if she feels that she loves someone more then me, then she’s free to go because I don’t want anyone to be with me while thinking about another person. I told her that I never try to avoid her from talking with anyone but she must choose who she really wants to be with. She told me that she wants to be with me and only with me. I feel like they still talking to each other and I want to give up.
Consider this:
- It is commendable that you have tried to be open and talked with your girlfriend. It is hard when someone had dated in the past and they are still in contact with them and you suspect there still may be feelings.
- You might want to talk to her about how you are feeling, now. Even though she states she wants to be with you, you are feeling somewhat concerned that she is still in a relationship with her ex. You might want to write down your feelings or share your thoughts with someone else to help you approach the subject. Although it is a difficult topic, it may help you both become closer by sharing your true feelings.
- It sounds like you are very stressed over the situation. Make sure you take time to do things for yourself. Engage in a hobby, spend time with friends, or do something physical to release some of the stress. You will find that you feel so much better after doing something you really enjoy, even a walk.
- Invest in planning some activities for you both to do together. Find something that is unique that you both would enjoy. If you find that she is not able to attend these with you, ask her for her ideas and involve her in the planning. This will help to strengthen your relationship together.
- You might also want to engage in some social activities that help you to interact with others. It is perfectly healthy for both of you to have your own social life and friends.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What do you really want to say to her?
- Who can you talk to about this other than your girlfriend?
- What kind of activities can you do to strengthen your relationship with your girlfriend?
