I’ve had a problem with certain members of my family being very pushy about me getting a driver’s license. Some to prove stuff about me that doesn’t really bother me. There’s also people that are saying I don’t want “freedom” due to the fact that I do not want to drive. That does sort of bother me. However, the main issue is the fact that they keep bringing it up again and again and again.
The thing is that the reason why I don’t want to drive is because I know that I have trouble concentrating, probably due to either ADHD or ADD (not diagnosed yet, which is why there is a “probably” there). I’m scared that I won’t be able to concentrate on all that I need to concentrate in order to drive. For example, it’s hard for me to concentrate on a test in school, so how do they think that I’ll be good at driving? From what I understand is that driving takes a lot of focus. I also know that one of my weaknesses is my trouble focusing or hyperfocusing.
I also know that I would probably get lost a lot, because I haven’t even memorized the names of the roads around where I live. I have to rely on buildings and places to know where I am and where to get to where I want to go. They know that I have a problem with memorizing real names and that I have to rely on places.
The reason why I have not told them that I don’t want to drive is because they are the certain type of people that say “You can do anything as long as you put your mind to it,” or “You could do it, if you wanted to.” Well, what I tell them is that I do not believe that I am ready for a driver’s license, even though I could have got my driver’s license about 2 years ago, and haven’t even got my permit. That’s true, though, I do not feel as though I am ready to get a driver’s license. It has nothing to do with me not wanting to be free.
HELP YOURSELF
- With any privilege, such as driving, there also comes a great deal of responsibility. Although others tend to rush into something for which they may not actually be ready, it should be respected that you want to feel prepared to accept this big responsibility. Thank you for being so honest about how you feel about this situation and sharing your story with the TeenCentral community.
- It seems like some of your family member’s thoughts about your driving status are causing you additional stress. Although it can be difficult to express a different idea or disagree with somebody’s opinion, it is important that you continue to use your voice to express yourself. If you need some tips on how to navigate these tricky conversations when you need to clarify some misunderstandings, please check out the Helpful Social Skill Basics that are available in the Tools Section of TeenCentral.com.
- Oftentimes, when people hear about what we perceive as a problem, we think we can help somebody else by “solving their issue.” It seems like you have several relatives who may think that they are being supportive and encouraging by offering their advice. However, what you may actually need is somebody who is just willing to listen to how you feel without adding any of their own judgments. Please remember that your feelings are valid and seek out those adults who make you feel safe and accepted when you share what is happening in your life.
CONSIDER THIS
- There are times when we have tons of thoughts and feelings, but sharing them in an organized and convincing way with others can be challenging! In order to capture how you are feeling about this situation or any other stressful events in your life, you may prefer to express yourself through an artistic outlet, such as drawing, scrapbooking, or photography. Even though these creative forms of expression may seem less “focused” than traditional journaling or counseling, they can provide just as many benefits for our mental and emotional health. It can help you just get your emotions off your chest and onto the paper so they aren’t so “bottled up”.
- Have you ever considered if learning to drive is something that you would eventually like to do? If this is one of your future goals, it is important to think about how you would feel comfortable going about making this achievement a reality! Check out The Dreamcatcher Board on the Tools Section of TeenCentral.com for a useful model that combines a vision board and goal chart. Using these tools, you should be able to successfully plan to overcome some of the challenges that could potentially complicate your journey of learning how to drive.
- When other people continue to suggest that the only way to be free is by doing something that we are not ready to do, it is easy to feel trapped. A great way to counteract these potentially suffocating feelings is by making time to do the things that we actually want to do! What could be more freeing than engaging ourselves in the hobbies and activities that we enjoy? There are so many ways that we can take care of ourselves and still experience so much in life – and we do not necessarily have to drive to do so!
