Overlooked
I had and still have this feeling of being overlooked at home. I sit in my room and think about how can a neighbor notice my scars and my own mother can’t? How does she not see when I’m not ok? I’m your daughter and she can’t even notice that? You forget to say you love me. You never say those words. Because “actions speak louder than words right”. But see I still need to hear it, it’s not the same as my heart needs to know. You never comfort me, give me a hug. Can you please just be there for me when I actually need you mentally? Sometimes I need you more than you could ever know. Then again it’s not like you care right? I come home from school I had a bad day and failed a test I studied so hard for. You’re sitting on the steps waiting for me with an extension cord in your clenched fists. Along with jeans on the stairs that you say I swapped from your room when I truly didn’t. You don’t listen to me because I’m the child and you know everything, but when I am actually telling you the truth you still don’t choose to listen to me. So what do you do? You beat me so bad, I can’t help but go into fight mode because I’m not a flight person. I try to grab the cord and I finally do. You continue to hit me over and over with your fists. I’m on the floor and you’re on top of me. Why won’t you stop? The thing that freaks me out is the wrapping of the cord around my neck choking me. What kind of mother would do that to her child? As you’re doing all of this you say things like I have ruined your life and you hate me. Then after all of this, you expect me to get up the next day and do chores? I do them but I’m stuck here, I can’t get out. What should I do?
THINGS YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- First we would like to thank you for having the courage to reach out for help, we commend you for having the bravery to ask for help.
- If things ever get really bad again and you need to talk to someone immediately please contact the Crisis Textline by texting “hello” to the number 741741. Just strike up a conversation. They are available 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year.
- You mentioned that your neighbor has noticed things that have happened, have you attempted to talk to anyone else about this problem? Other people you could reach out to include a teacher, guidance counselor, trusted coach, or another family member.
WHEN YOU ARE UP TO IT
- Another resource that you could use is the Child Help USA. They are available 24/7 and can be reached by phone at 1-800-422-4453. You can also click here to visit their website.
- Would you consider talking with a therapist or counselor? People that are exposed to this kind of repeated abuse find having someone to talk through it with can really help. You can ask your guidance counselor to help you find someone, or if you’re good with the computer you can google – therapy in my area. You can also call non-emergency 911, and ask them to help connect you to the child abuse hotline in your area, or to crisis services for your county. They would also be able to help.
- In our what’s new portion of the website we have a blog called “ Getting Help With Abuse On Your Own”. This blog can assist in recognizing abuse, and what steps that you can take right now if you wish to do so .
- Just remember that in all of this that you are not alone.
