Since I started developing more curve: hips, boobs etc. people have always seen me as a piece of meat and don’t treat me with respect. One moment that really stuck with me was when I was going to leave to my home town, me and one of my best friends since 4th grade were on a zoom and he was talking to another kid we knew since 4th grade and at my middle school there is 2 filishas (not my real name obvi) and we both have glasses, we both have curly hair, I’m a little darker then her, she’s taller then me… and the way he joins our zoom and the way he greats me is “heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyy big booty filisha” this didn’t make me sad no no no no it filled me with anger and I just wanted to knock the shit out of his dumbass. I told him off and he still proceeds to call me big booty filisha… I just want to be respected.
TRY THIS FIRST:
- First of all, thank you for writing in and sharing your story. You are not alone in your experience. Too often women and girls are bullied, belittled, or reduced to their physical characteristics. Kudos to you for sharing with us and for standing up for yourself, that takes courage!
- Check out our LEARN tab for more in-depth information and resources on body image as well as on bullying. Sounds like you love yourself but have to cope with the anger which arises when someone makes inappropriate comments, we also have a tab on anger management. There is a cool link to a TED Talk blog here that you might also find interesting.
- In addition to correcting peers who make these inappropriate comments and continuing to advocate for yourself, you can try to talk to an adult about your feelings (teacher, guidance, parent). Don’t go it alone, build a positive support team around yourself and there will be great things ahead of you.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE:
- In addition to the resources we mentioned above, check out our TOOLS tab for some ways to cope with your feelings of anger and/or stress when people say things that upset you. There is also some cool stuff under the LEARN tab – “Wellness” section that can help keep you feeling positive.
- Consider the things that are in your control. You cannot control the way that others speak or think but you can surround yourself with positive people who do not talk to you in a way that makes you feel disrespected. It sounds like you carry yourself in a way that shows you respect yourself. Keep putting that positivity out in to the world!
