I am 21 years old and my crush J is 22. J and I have never met. He is a senior at my university and I initially thought he was very hot and kind of looked like my ex, but better. My friends would make a lot of noise when he was around and for the past month to tease me. Later my best friend with a mutual friend of his went up to him and said, ” I want to introduce you to a friend of mine.” He said, “Of course, ” but the introduction never happened. Later he sent an Instagram request to another friend of mine. I think because she made a video of him for me during a school event and he probably thought she was the girl my best friend was talking about as they hang out together too. She did not accept. A week ago we prank called him and I talked to him. After that, we started talking on the prank call for a couple of days and he took my name. He asked if it was me and I said no. He took the name of the friend who he sent the request to and I said no. We talked on call for three hours. He told me about his school days the next day and we had nice deep conversations although he had no clue who I was. He used to keep asking who I was in the beginning but the day before yesterday he stopped. Yesterday he said he wants to meet me now and find out in person. I said no but he had already left the college hostel where he lives and drove 30 min to my society. I didn’t tell him where I lived. He kept saying he really wanted to meet me. I couldn’t because it was too late and I didn’t want to give the impression that I was loose because then he would find out who I am. I was so confused. He kept saying, “Please don’t do this and I was afraid you would do this.” He told me to say hi and asked me where I live but I wouldn’t. He told me he just came to meet me and he really wants to meet me. He said that he had shut off his brain and doesn’t want to think. I told him no again. He told me goodbye and went back. I called him multiple times that day but he didn’t pick up. Today I saw him in college and he seemed normal. Later my friends were sitting together. Then he and his group of friends came and sat near them. My friends started taking my name loudly and called me. I talked a lot hoping he would recognize me but I don’t know if he did. He did not look at me but it seemed as if he might be listening. After college, I texted him an apology and called him three times. He cut the calls. I did not call again.
I want to talk to him. I know it’s crazy but my whole being is in a state of anxiety and I just want to talk to him.
I keep thinking maybe he recognized me and was hoping it was my friend on the call and now he just doesn’t want to talk to me because he doesn’t like me.
I hate feeling so desperate and I am usually not like this. I just don’t want this to be the end. I keep on fearing that we might never talk again.
I cannot approach him because that would ruin my reputation in university and I have to spend the next three years here. I wanted him to talk to me so we could be friends or something.
I regret not meeting him but I find it hard to believe he would want to meet me because he liked me. After all, we only talked a couple of times. I was afraid this would be a trick or something.
Now I don’t know what to do. I can’t text or call him anymore since it’s insulting that he is ignoring me.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Misunderstandings in situations involving your crush can make you feel curious and confused. You are smart for questioning the situation until you find answers even though it makes you feel down.
- Teenage guys and sometimes even girls tend to lose interest easily in relationships since they’re still young. They often go from one person to the next to see if they fit. The boy you have a crush on seems like he may be too interested in others or possibly nobody since he isn’t giving you the attention you’re giving him. You might benefit from educating yourself on teen relationships.
- Alternatively, if you want a serious relationship with a guy you’d probably benefit from waiting for the right person to come along. This would be someone who’s more mature and responsible. The right person will feel the same way towards you that you feel about him.
- It might be best to let him go for now. Maybe you can talk to him again in the future. Everything happens for a reason though so you might actually find someone who’s better for you. You have the option of dating other guys yourself if you’re comfortable with that.
- You could also wait for the perfect person for you. You can become more spiritual and take the situation seriously. This is smart because you’ll allow yourself to mature and let things happen in a more natural way. Head to the Teen Central website and click the Learn tab then Spirituality to learn more.
- Some spiritual activities you can use to contemplate your existence are prayer, meditation and yoga.
- To meet a nicer boy who shares your goals and values you can attend church or even volunteer for a cause you care deeply about. Some organizations you may want to consider are Habitat for Humanity, The Humane Society of the United States and American Red Cross.
- You could try to get your mind off boys for now and focus on something else like listening to music, do some art or learn a musical instrument.
HELP YOURSELF:
- What are the pros and cons of continuing to pursue your crush (write them down)?
- Do you think you’re wasting your time by thinking about him so much at this point?
- Can you think of other activities to pursue to get your mind off your crush, at least for the moment?
