I’ve recently been placed on probation because I got OSS at school for something I will NEVER do again I learned my lesson of course and look where this mistake at school has got me I could literally go on house arrest if I ever possibly fail a drug test or do something that violates my rules. It’s just a lot to process I’m just 15 and I know what I did wrong. The hard thing is how do I cope with this… I get drug tested in 2 weeks and I have to go to drug classes but this is just so hard I’m used to smoking whenever I feel stressed or sad or even just for fun I feel so alone in this and I don’t know how to surround myself with better friends who won’t let me slip up. I also don’t have many hobbies but I’m going to try and find some I’ve also been recently staying with my grandma because I feel better there when I’m at home everything just goes grey, and its because I don’t have a good relationship with either of my parents and being here just brings back things I don’t wanna remember. which is probably why smoking and having a lover felt good to me and made me happier because I felt loved. I feel ok currently just a bit sad, what do I do when I feel like smoking? . I really feel that everyone just looks at me differently either disappointed or just like I’m a bad kid who just doesn’t care about their life or they just make me feel bad about what I did. I’m worried I don’t wanna guilt trip myself. before I was staying with my grandma I was so suicidal at home and I’m just praying I have some sort of support in this and that my mom doesn’t try to control every single thing I do and when I can stay with my grandma. I love my mom but she just brings out the worst in me and so does my father who’s somewhat around and then I act off those feelings which leads to worse things. On top of all this, the girl I like doesn’t like me back Idk why I’m so stuck on that probably because she led me on at first, I couldn’t handle a relationship anyways but it still hurts. Why does it hurt to process..
HELP YOURSELF:
- Hello, thank you for writing in to the TC community! Processing your feelings can be really hard sometimes. You have the strength to do it. The TC website has a lot to offer. You may want to start by surfing the site for articles that you find interesting for you. You can also look at stories from others that have been dealing with things similar to you.
- YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Under the “HELP” tab of TeenCentral.com there are many hotlines, text-lines, and websites available to support you. If you ever feel that your going to hurt yourself call the NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINE – 1-800-273-8255 or go to their website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. If it’s easier for you to text, you can text HELLO to 741741 or visit their website at crisistextline.org. Both of these lifelines are there to help you 24/7.
- You’re dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety right now. If you have problems talking with your parents, are you able to talk with your grandmother about this? Is there a trusted adult that you would feel comfortable talking to? Maybe a pastor, coach, or school counselor?
CONSIDER THIS:
- This may be the first time you’ve written here but have you ever tried writing or journaling in general? Check out the WHAT’S NEW section for information about Journaling to Cope with Stress. Sometimes jotting down our thoughts and feelings can be a powerful outlet to help manage emotions. You can also use it to reflect on the positive qualities you have. Going through stress and difficult events can affect your emotions and bring out more of the bad feelings than the good ones. That doesn’t mean the good qualities aren’t there. Let’s try to bring them out by making a list of things you like about yourself, or positive accomplishments no matter how small they may seem. If you are struggling, maybe try asking someone who cares about you to help remind you of the positives they see in you.
- Another important piece of helping yourself is focusing on self-care and just being healthy. It seems like you aren’t really happy with your drug use. Sometimes people who turn to drugs do so as a coping skill. If this applies to you (or even if it doesn’t), do you have any other positive and healthy coping skills that you could use instead? Check out our information about Substance Use in our LEARN section. Simple things like daily exercise can be a natural mood booster. We have strength training, yoga, and running resources on our TOOLS page. If you prefer more creative outlets – drawing, mandalas, or other crafts can help change your mindset when feeling bad.
- Even though you’ve been through a lot recently, has there been a time before that when you were happy or feeling better than you do now? Have there even been any times recently where you did have a good moment or day? Remember those times and moments. What are the hobbies and activities you have done in the past that you’ve enjoyed? It can be the smallest positive, healthy activity that brings you joy – keep doing it. Also keep trying to surround yourself with positive, trusting people who care about you. These people can help keep you going and staying strong.
