I became friends with a senior at my university a few months ago. For the past 3 months we have been talking every day and spending a lot of time together. We used to talk for 3 to 4 hours on the phone every day and we used to discuss a lot. We always said that we are just friends and make fun of each other. It was an extremely good friendship. He made me a sketch just because I told him I liked roses. He also carved a rose for me. He used to joke that we need to take a break as we talk too much, but we never stopped. A week ago he came back from a four day trip that he went on with his friends. Those were the first 4 days we didn’t talk. After that he just changed. He no longer wants to talk on the phone. I recently texted him “hey, you there”? He never replied. I don’t get what happened. I thought he was angry at me or something. During a brief texting session, I asked him if he was mad at me. He told me he was concerned about an exam and that he was generally busy. He no longer initiates contact. I used to be able to call him whenever, but now I don’t even know if I should text him.
I have tried talking to him but he just doesn’t seem interested. I really don’t know what went wrong, as we were such good friends. I was so used to him being there and I miss him. I do not want to lose him. I don’t want to seem too needy. Maybe, someday, this could have developed into a serious relationship. At the moment I just don’t want to lose his friendship.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Relationships can prove to be very confusing and frustrating, especially when you’re receiving mixed messages from the other individual.
- You might consider simply telling him exactly how you’re feeling. It could be that he’s totally unaware of the mixed messages he’s putting out there.
- Not wanting to lose someone while not seeming too needy can be a very slippery slope to maneuver. Sometimes having a friend’s advice can be helpful.
- Consider letting him contact you and make the first move. If he wants to talk he will contact you. If he does not want to talk then you can move on and make other friends.
HELP YOURSELF:
- If you had your choice, what would be the best possible outcome for this situation?
- How would you advise a friend that came to you with this relationship issue?
- How do you feel about simply avoiding contact with him until he initiates communication with you?
- What is preventing you from being open and honest with him and telling him exactly how his mixed messages make you feel?
