So, I’ve come here a lot even after getting in trouble for it, but it helps. I could lose everything, but whateves. So, I just turned 18, which means after next year I’ll be in college. It’s not bad to go to college but my parents are older and not biological (I have to hide some details for safety reasons) and most young adults have kids while their parents are 50ish…mine are almost in their 60s and I don’t have a bf. They have health problems and its starting to hit me that my childhood is over. My sibling moved out so that changed. I’m getting older and I won’t be pez-dispensing kids for at least years. My mom and dad could be gone by then and assuming my sister keeps making bad choices, she could die because of the things she does. I’ve had a bad childhood and I don’t want to leave. I’m scared to death to get my license because I’m frightened by the power I hold (I’m all for power and what not but not when lives could be harmed by one wrong move in a split second. I’ve also just discovered that I have an attraction to “bad boys” -not drugs and all that, but bad bad guys like murder bad-(found out by watching tv and just really loving the murder hotness.) I know this can cause alarm, but I would never actually date a murderer. I’d date a guy covered in tattoos and wears straight down black, but never murder. Oh, btw, I’m a girl who’s liked guys since I was 10 and have known about things a 10 year old shouldn’t. I want to go to college, but I have a very very bad feeling that I’m gonna lose someone withing the next few years and I have always been right about bad things happening. I predicted how my friend’s dog was gonna die- how and even who. I hate it, but my friend says I have a gift…yeah right. Point is I’m scared to lose someone . Well, queue the helpful advice and know that I’m just scared to grow up more. I basically spilled my fears for no reason.
Help Yourself
- You have a lot of fears about your future right now. That must feel so overwhelming.
- Having questions and fears about who you are, where you’re going, what’s next in life is a very common thing at your age. You’re looking to move on from the comfort and predictability of what you’ve known to beginning your trek in the world. Do you have someone in your life to share these feelings with? A favorite teacher, guidance counselor, mentor? Someone who could help you through the steps you take to move forward with your life?
Consider This
- On our Teen Central site, in our “Learn” tab, we have some information about Anxiety that may be useful, including what it is, symptoms you may experience and coping skills to help you handle it. This may be a good resource for you right now while you’re having all of these stressful feelings.
- It’s very easy when you’re worried to focus on all of your negative experiences, or even just lingering questions about who you are. Have you also tried making a list of things to look forward to or that may go right? This is one of the key things about anxiety – you can spend a lot of time and energy on the negative “what if”s and not have any way to prove that you’ll be ok, because everything is in the future. It sounds like you’re hoping to go to college. That’s wonderful. People go to college in lots of different ways – so many be the things you fear could happen could be balanced somewhat by going to college in a different way – commuting, attending online, going to a college closer to home. How does it feel if you consider all of the positive things you could experience that you haven’t before.
- How do you balance the amount of time you are fearful or worrying? Many have found relief through positive activities that help them take care of themselves and quiet uncomfortable thoughts. You can look into something more structured, like yoga or guided meditation, or something less structured that’s just about you enjoying the moment – like listening to your favorite music, being creative, going outside and taking a couple deep breaths – what it is really doesn’t matter as much as committing to doing something positive for yourself. Check out our WELLNESS section for more information and resources.
- Most importantly, know that you’re not alone. More people than you probably realize are struggling with similar fears right now. Fear of loss, fear of change- that’s all very normal. And with all of the losses from the pandemic over the past two + years, all of us are impacted by a heightened sense of loss and fear. If it begins to hold you back from living your life, that’ when you may want to seek help from a counselor or therapist to help you through it. You’ve got this!
