Hey so I really, really, REALLY like this guy and he acts like he likes me. I told him I thought I had depression and he was literally talking me through it and he told me I was perfect. Often times when I’m talking to him and someone with something more than me (stronger, older, not a pastors daughter) walks in, I turn away because he walks away. It doesn’t help that there is no trust, love, or support in a lot of my friendships because I am a pastors daughter. I have such a busy work and vacation summer schedule (I own the business at 8 and now 13, no employees) that I can’t think about what to say to him and how do I know he likes me. I often guard myself because of past relationships so I don’t get hurt, but I let my guard down. Now I am in love and he keeps screwing me even though he isn’t. I just want one friendship with a foundation on rock and not sand other than with god. What do I do, and how can I tell if he likes me or not?
HELP YOURSELF:
- Thank you for bringing your questions to Teen Central and trusting us with your story. It’s sometimes very difficult to share personal information with others, so good for you!
- Relationships can be great, but they can also be a source of a lot of stress and confusion! Rest assured that there are others close to your age that can relate to your situation. Reach out, and talk to your peers, you may be surprised about how many may be going through similar situations.
- Choosing a person to discuss this with is a little challenging. Think about who else you trust, who cares about you that you can speak to for advice. It doesn’t have to be someone who knows this guy, just someone who you can go to for advice and confidentiality. This might be a family member, trusted adult or someone who you are friends with. Once you have decided who to talk to, think about what you want to tell them and what kind of advice you would like from them.
- There are some really good resources about relationships on this website that may be able to help you. On the LEARN tab look for “Relationships“. Under the TOOLS tab click “Self-Positive Talk“. This may help you feel stronger, and more confident to discuss your feelings with him.
CONSIDER THIS:
- Self-reflection can be very useful and can even help ease your anxiety. Take this opportunity to reflect on the really great qualities you bring to your relationships. If it is helpful to you, make a list of all of these things. At the end, you may be surprised at all of the great characteristics you bring to the table.
- Remember that friendships and social supports should bring you happiness and positivity. When you evaluate these friendships and they are bringing you pain, it may be time to communicate those feelings. Which friendships are bringing you joy? How are they different than those which bring you pain?
- Think about having an honest conversation with your friend about how they make you feel. Ask yourself, what would be the worst that could happen if I share my thoughts and feelings with that friend? Is there someone in your life that could help you initiate that conversation? It might also be helpful to jot down some items that you would like to share with them. Give it a try.
