| My ex-boyfriend and I broke up almost 2 years ago. We were best friends who dated for a year, but after he went abroad to study he changed and we broke up, and we never talked again. I am with a great guy now who treats me so well and even my ex has a new girlfriend. A friend of mine follows my ex on Instagram, and I keep using her account to stalk him and his girlfriend. He treats her so much better than he treated me. He made a whole issue about the fact that, although both of our families were of the same religion had slightly different beliefs, his parents told him that he shouldn’t compromise on them. This created problems. Within three months of him going abroad, we broke up because he refused to make time for me. He also asked me interrogating questions about my beliefs even though I didn’t know much. He seemed extremely relieved to get rid of me. I never texted him again. His new girlfriend has a completely different religion. It hurts that he made me feel bad about my beliefs but now, is completely accepting her. He broke my heart completely. No part of me wants to get back together with him, but I do want him to see me happy and realize that he made a mistake. I have been with my new boyfriend for a year, and he is the most incredible man. I am completely honest with him, and he accepts me for who I am. I love him so much. i just want to get my ex-boyfriend completely off my mind. It’s not fair to my boyfriend. He makes me so happy, and I honestly feel so free with him. i just want to stop this. A mutual friend confronted my ex, claiming that we broke up because of religious differences. My ex-boyfriend denied it, saying “look, I am dating someone with a completely different religion and my parents know it.” I just want to get him off my mind.
CONSIDER THIS:
- You are in a good place in your life right now and you are no longer dating someone who did not treat you well. You have someone who is special and a great fit for you you, but you have some unresolved thoughts and feelings about the ex-boyfriend who treated you badly.
- For some people, moving on from a bad relationship can be difficult. Even though you have a great boyfriend and are happy, you still are upset about how your boyfriend used a small difference in religion as an excuse to make you miserable. Even though a person knows that they are better off, sometimes it can be hard to stop thinking about the past. Consider making a list of all the ways that tracking your boyfriend’s progress and thinking about him are hurting you. Then, think write down everything that you love about your current relationship. The next time you catch yourself dwelling on your distressing past relationship, look at your list to remind yourself why you should not bother to think about him.
- For some people, the best way to let go of all of the negative issues surrounding an old relationship is to force themselves to cut themselves off from any conversation or information about the person. It may seem harsh and difficult right now, but think about not looking at your ex’s info on social media, and asking your friends not to discuss him at all with you. Also, be mindful of your thoughts and if you find yourself thinking about him or the past, distract yourself. Try to start thinking about something or someone else. It seems difficult and may take practice, but in the long run, you may be better off. Consider making a list of other things that you can think about the next time you catch yourself dwelling on your ex-boyfriend.
- Finally, remember that over time, the painful memories will fade if you let them. You have really good memories from your current relationship. Try to think about them and enjoy your time with your current boyfriend. You deserve to be happy, so try to remove your ex-boyfriend and his actions from your life completely.
HELP YOURSELF:
- If one of your best friends was having trouble letting go of her ex, what would you advise her to do?
- If you wrote a list of the pros of your current relationship and the cons of focusing on your ex and what he did, what would be on your list?
- What are some things that you can think about or do to get your mind off of your ex when you find yourself thinking about him?
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