I have been struggling with some thoughts about me and you know hurting myself, i know that it isn’t a good thing but i feel like it’s either that or doing drugs, i have tried to talk to my sister about this type of stuff but i feel like she doesn’t even listen to me half of the time. i don’t really tell her about how i feel due to fear that she will say I’m over reacting or something like that, and honestly i feel like i would just add on to her problems that she already has right now, she does have a drinking problem and she is also depressed, sometimes i can’t sleep at night, like i can be so tired and i just can’t, there are times where i don’t feel like eating anything or i forget, i feel like the image that i have of my body is just horrible, i feel like i need to either over sexualize myself for other people, i feel like it’s mostly because i want to feel some sort of affection from people, i want someone to care without me having to ask them, i want someone to listen to what i have to say and not doubt me when they feel like it’s not true, there was a time where i told someone i trusted that i was being sexually abused and they told everyone about what i said and people didn’t believe me, they said that i lied about it, and honestly that hurt me because like they don’t know the whole story , the sad part is that like after everything and after my abuser admitting to it, my family still doubted me because my abuser is also my sibling, so they took his side, they said that he didn’t know what he was doing because he is autistic, but he did, he was 17 and i was 12, i had to accept the fact that no one believed me, i had to tell everyone that i was okay, i had to act like everything was fine, i’m 16 now and i’m completely out of that situation thank god, but there are moments where I’m just like, what if i did something differently, what if i said something differently, in the end, all i wanted was to have a normal brother.
FINDING SUPPORT:
- First of all, that should never have happened to you. We are sorry that you had to go through what you did. WE BELIEVE YOU! Thank you for being brave enough to tell TeenCentral your story. It was not your fault.
- You have the right to be safe in your home. Have you tried talking to anyone outside of your home about this abuse? You can always turn to a trusted teacher or counselor at school. What you are going through is normal after experiencing abuse. But having a support system is important to help you process these emotions. Keep reaching out to a trusted adult.
- If you ever feel like you want to harm yourself, you can reach out to the Suicide Prevention LifeLine 24 hours a days. Anytime, day or night, you call 1-800-273-TALK, someone will be there to answer your call. You can talk through some of those sad feelings. We want you to stay safe.
CONSIDER THIS:
- With all of these overwhelming feelings it is important to have a safety plan in place. Check out this really helpful tool on TeenCentral to get you started with that plan. Click here! Support plans are a good reminder to use coping skills when our emotions get really big. These coping skills are healthy ways to manage stress. Think about some things that have helped you in the past and write them down as a reminder.
- Movement is another great way to get some of those emotions out. This can be something as small as taking a walk, standing up and stretching, or dancing to your favorite song. When our bodies are moving, our brains become less anxious. Try it!
- Writing down your thoughts and feelings is another powerful tool to help you de-stress. If you don’t already have one, try keeping a journal with you. Whenever you are starting to feel anxious or wanting to harm yourself, try writing down how you are feeling in that moment. This will also be helpful to look back on later to see how far you have come. Keep going!
