I was in a relationship for over a year and a half and the break up was fairly normal. In March of this year, I found out that in August, the year before, he had drugged me and stripped me and took naked pictures of me and sent them to all of his friends. He also touched me while he did it, and although I will never know the extent he touched me, there are pictures to prove that he did touch me. I ended up in a mental hospital because I wanted to die so much. When returning to school, I discovered most of my friends abandoned me, calling me a slut and a whore because of what he had been saying. After this, I began to feel as though life was pointless, and there was no point in being such a good kid. There is no point in not drinking or doing drugs or having sex. It has been 8 months, and I am still struggling with that idea. My parents however are yelling at me, saying that “bad behavior cannot be excused by what happened.” I feel as though they don’t understand how hard it is for me to get over it. They say that it happened awhile ago, which it did, and I can’t blame all my bad behavior on it. I understand that, but they don’t understand how badly it affected me, especially because he was the first person I ever loved and I could never see him doing something this cruel. I don’t feel like I can talk to my parents about it either because whatever happens, they are always right. I can never be right because I am the child and they are the adult. Help please?
CONSIDER THIS:
- You have had a very traumatic experience. You have every right to feel upset. Your boyfriend’s assault and betrayal, followed by your friends’ betrayal are not easy to forget or “move on” from. None of what happened to you is your fault, and yet you are dealing with the consequences. You have started to behave badly and wonder why it matters. Your parents are upset with you for not being able to move on with your life, but you are still struggling and need some help.
- Thank you for sharing your story with TeenCentral.net. Please continue to share your thoughts on this site and read other teens’ stories. You may find that someone else has had to cope with a similar trauma.
- You understand that you need to talk with someone about how you are feeling. Right now, you don’t find your parents to be very helpful. Please do not give up on them completely. They love you and want you to be happy. They may not understand what kind of support you need right now, but please remember to keep trying to explain to them what is going on and how you are feeling. They may begin to understand how difficult this whole situation is for you. Consider writing them a note that explains just how awful you are feeling and how hard it is for you to move on. You are trying but the pain is still to raw. Let them know how much you need their help to get through this.
- In the meantime, please reach out to other adults to get some help. There may be a teacher or counselor at school that you feel that you can confide in. If not, consider talking to another relative who you trust. Do not give up on finding someone to help you. Consider asking your parents to let you talk to a professional such as a psychiatrist or counselor. Also try to look into any support groups in your area. There may be a group of teens who are also struggling to move on from similar situations.
- Finally, try to remember that despite your recent actions, you are a good person who deserves to be happy. It can take a while to get over a traumatic event such as the one you experienced. Do not feel guilty or ashamed that you are still having a hard time dealing with it. Understand that it is okay and even necessary to continue to ask for help as you try to heal. Stay strong.
HELP YOURSELF:
- Think about sitting down to talk to your parents about how you feel one more time. If you made a list of points that you want to discuss with them, what would be on that list?
- Who are some adults that you might be able to talk to about getting some help?
- What are some some ways that you can channel your distress and negative feelings that don’t involve “bad” behavior?
